Detectives Got Brains But Hackers Got Soul!
by Zabe Rogue
Summary: Shawn, Garcia & Gus are just a little bit closer to finding Agent66: the UNSUB hacker who's after Lassiter's goddaughter, Alina Santiago. While uncovering some shocking truths, they meet up Alina's "sister", Parker and her band of merry outlaws led by Nathan Ford. Oh yeah, this ought to be fun.
1. Ninja Kittens, Elephants and Murder

**Ninja Kittens, Trigger-happy Elephants and Murder**

_1991..._

_"Your math teacher called me this afternoon, Shawn."_

_Shawn Spencer stopped in his tracks as he looked into the suspicious face of his father._

_"She did? What for?"_

_"She said you got the highest grade in the class and the second highest grade in the whole school."_

_Shawn's eyes lit up. "Really?"_

_Henry Spencer nodded. "Really. You even scored higher than Gus."_

_"Well, that tutor you hired really paid off." Shawn chuckled. "I got some homework to do so I'm going up to my room." Shawn started to go up to his room when his father called him._

_"I know you hacked the school computer and changed your grade."_

_"C'mon, Dad. How can you possibly..."_

_"Cut the crap, Shawn." Henry interrupted. "A professional hacker would never leave a messy trail of breadcrumbs. You shoulda changed your test scores too."_

_Shawn cursed to himself. He forgot the test scores. "What else?"_

_"One important thing you need to know about hackers is that they always leave a signature of their work." Henry explained. It can be a virus, symbols, etc. Yours was a dancing pineapple."_

_" thought it was cute." Shawn said._

_"Your grounded for the whole summer." Henry punished._

* * *

><p><em><span>2011...<span>_

Chief Karen Vick came into the viewing room where Detective Juliet O'Hara was there, observing her partner, Head Detective Carlton Lassiter interrogating a teenager.

"So what's the story with this one?" Karen asked.

"Her name is Alina Santiago; age 14," Juliet replied. "She's a repeat juvenile offender."

"Repeat offender at 14?" Karen was amused. "What was her crime?"

"Hacking. She got arrested for hacking into an ATM machine and stole $350."

"How old was she?"

"Eight."

Karen's gaze shifted back to the girl. She looked tough and hard on the surface. They all did. But Karen knew better; this girl was scared.

"Have you contacted Miss Santiago's parents?" Karen asked Juliet.

Juliet shook her head. "She doesn't have any."

"Does Lassiter know this?"

Juliet began to respond when her boyfriend, Shawn Spencer and his compadre, Burton Guster, interrupted her.

"Oh! Oh, sweet Lord!" Shawn exclaimed. "The spirits have been hijacked with a virus!"

"Shawn, what are you talking about?" Juliet asked.

"He means he's been hacked by a virus." Gus translated.

Shawn finished his performance and grabbed the file from Juliet.

"We should get in there, Gus." He decided. "Lassie may need our help." They started to leave when the Chief stopped them.

"Hold it right there, Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster." Karen declared. "This isn't an official case and I didn't hire you."

"You are correct, Chief." Shawn agreed. "But Lassie called us about an hour ago to talk to this girl."

"So if you don't mind," Gus said. "We have some interrogating to do." And they left before Karen or Juliet could say anything more.

* * *

><p>Carlton Lassiter stared at the girl across from him. A part of him couldn't believe that she's a juvenile delinquent but a big part wasn't surprised at all. Alina Santiago's mother wasn't a saint. And her stepfather...Carlton was happy that lowlife was in jail. Unfortunately, Alina had to suffer for it. Sighing, Carlton tried one more time to get through to her.<p>

"Alina," he began. "We've been going on about this for almost two hours. Just tell me what you saw."

"I told you," Alina replied. "I didn't see anything."

"That's not what you said to Officer McNabb." Carlton argued. "Do you want 'falsifying police report' added to your list of crimes?"

"Why do you care?" Alina spat. "I'm just some juvie kid to you people."

"Not to me, you're not."

Right then, Shawn and Gus entered the room.

"Lassyface!" Shawn sang. "Gus and I are here to help."

"You're only here to observe, Spencer." Carlton instructed. "That's it."

"Is he your boyfriend?" Alina smirked.

"No, he's not." Carlton answered. "They work for the police department."

Alina looked at Shawn and Gus in disbelief.

"It's true," Shawn confirmed. He held out his hand. "I'm Shawn Spencer, Psychic Detective." He pointed to Gus. "This is my partner, Ewan-Usher Raymond McDreamy."

"But you can call me Gus." Gus added.

"Alina Santiago." Alina said, shaking Shawn's hand. "People call me Ally."

_"Really?" _

"Guster!" Carlton barked. "Stop flirting with my goddaughter!"

Shawn and Gus looked at Carlton in shock. They didn't really move until Karen and Juliet came in the room. They both wore the same expression on their faces.

"Detective Lassiter, this girl is your _goddaughter?"_ Karen asked.

"Yes, Chief. She is." Carlton confirmed.

"Not surprised you guys are shocked," Alina said. "Carlton's not much of a godfather."

_"This isn't a joke, Ally!"_ Carlton snapped. "You hacked into a government database and ran away from the police."

"So? You call it illegal, I call it Wednesday night. Girl's gotta make a living."

"What about Martin Weller?" Juliet asked. "We have surveillance placing you both at the City Hall."

"Yeah, Marty was there with me." Alina confirmed. "He was helping me with a job but we split once you guys showed up."

"And that's the last time you saw him?" Karen asked.

"If I knew where he was, I'd tell you!" Alina snapped. "What the hell is this about anyway?"

"You watch that language, young lady." Carlton admonished.

"Why are you asking me about Marty?"

"He was found dead in the City Hall Dumpster a few hours ago. Shot three times with a 22. Caliber."

And just like that, the look on Alina's face changed from irritation to pure dread. That's when Shawn Spencer knew, there was more to this murder than meets the eye.

"Marty's dead?" Alina muttered. "Wait, you don't think I killed him, do you?"

"We didn't say that..." Carlton assured.

"But you _are_ our prime suspect." Karen told her, giving Carlton a look. "So I wouldn't run off just yet."

Alina scoffed. "Where would I go?"

Suddenly, Shawn remembered something:

* * *

><p><em><strong>At the Psych Office...<strong>_

_**"Lassie says this girl's a really good hacker." Gus told Shawn. "Calls herself Mariposa Samurai."**_

_**"Aww, look at the Ninja Kitten." Shawn cooed. "It's so cute and awesome at the same time."**_

_**"Doesn't make sense to her name," Gus said. Mariposa means 'butterfly' in Spanish."**_

_**At The Morgue...**_

_**"'WMG'?" Shawn looked at the three letters in question. "You have any idea what these letters mean, Woody?"**_

_**Woody looked at Shawn and Gus and shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine," He said. "It could mean 'Werewolves Mingle Gnomes, Warlords Massacred Gryffindor..."**_

_**"Wow, really?" Gus said. "It could be the killer's signature."**_

_**"There is something else, gentlemen." Woody pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "This was found in the victim's mouth..."**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present Day...<strong>_

"OH MY GOD! I'M GETTING SOMETHING!" Shawn declared. "Marty Weller's awesome hacker spirit has hacked into my body!"

Shawn started flinging, dancing and bouncing around the room; Gus was trying to slow him down. Alina just looked at them like they were crazy.

"What's wrong with them?" She asked Carlton.

"Unfortunately, nothing out of the ordinary." Carlton replied.

_"That's_ ordinary?"

Suddenly, Shawn stopped and looked at Alina dead in her eyes. "Marty knows you didn't kill him." He said.

"Wow," Alina said in a sarcastic tone. "Can Marty tell me something I _don't_ know?"

"He knows you're a kick-ass ninja kitten with a love for butterflies."

Alina's eyes grew wide. "How did you know that?"

"What are you talking about, Spencer?" Carlton asked impatiently.

"Precisely, what I would like to know." Karen agreed.

"Alina Santiago did not kill Martin Weller." Shawn began. "Another hacker did."

"Another hacker?" Juliet repeated. "How can you be so sure, Shawn?"

"Because every hacker leaves their own signature in their work."

"Shawn's right." Gus agreed. "Alina's signature is a kitten dressed as a ninja which makes no sense by the way."

"Your face doesn't make sense." Alina retorted.

Gus frowned at her while Shawn laughed. He stopped when he noticed Gus' look.

"What? It was funny." He muttered.

"Shawn!" Gus nudged.

"Oh! I'm getting something else." Shawn envisioned. "Three letters and an agent or an agency, I'm not sure..."

"What are the letters, Shawn?" Juliet urged.

"Wrestle...Mania...Gyrate," Shawn babbled. "Walruses...Market...Greece..."

"WMG!" Gus shouted.

"Yes!" Shawn cheered. "And Agent007?"

"Daniel Craig?" Juliet tried.

"What does the guy from **_Moulin Rouge_** have to do with this, Jules?"

"That was Ewan McGregor, Shawn." Gus corrected.

"Agent66."

Everyone turned and stared at Alina.

"Yes, Agent66 is the hacker." Shawn confirmed.

"Do you know her real name, Ally?" Carlton asked.

"No, no one does." Alina replied. "Agent66 is just her alias. One of them, anyway."

"How many does she have?" Karen asked.

"About 10. 'WMG' is her most common one. It stands for Web-Mistress G."

Shawn remembered something else. The note found inside Martin Weller's throat. It was an elephant with some type of weapon...

"This Web Mistress' hacker sign wouldn't have anything to do with an elephant, would it?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah," Alina replied. "A happy blue elephant carrying a machete."

"That's disturbing." Gus remarked.

"Not really," Alina said. "Sometimes she has the Happy Blue Elephant shoot an AK-47."

Shawn saw that image in his head then dismissed it. "Lassie, your goddaughter may be in serious danger."

"What are you talking about, Spencer?" Carlton asked gravely.

"Martin Weller wasn't WMG's target," Shawn explained. "He was just someone in her way. She was going to kill Alina."

Karen saw the look on Carlton's face. She has never seen him worry about a juvenile delinquent or any convicted criminal before. She thought this was an open-shut juvenile case. But now it's something more: a murder and an attempted murder. She has her work cut out for her.


	2. The AllKnowing Tech Goddess of Quantico

**The All-Knowing Tech Goddess of Quantico, Virginia**

Shortly after that incident in the interrogation room, everyone gathered to meet in Chief Vick's office. Shawn, Juliet and Gus were sitting down while Carlton was pacing back and forth. Alina was sitting at Carlton's desk, playing cards with Buzz McNabb.

"Did you call Social Services to locate Alina Santiago's social worker?" Karen asked.

"Her name is Collette Davenport," Juliet informed. "We tried to contact her, Chief, but her boss said that she's been on vacation for two weeks."

"Get a hold of her as soon as possible. Tell her it's urgent."

Carlton stopped his pacing. "You're not _seriously _calling them, are you?"

"She's in the system, Carlton." Karen replied.

"They won't protect her against that psychopath, Chief!"

"We don't have a lot of options at this point. Alina has no other family."

"I'm her godfather!" Carlton emphasized. "That makes me family."

"It's not that simple, Detective. I know you want to protect Alina but we still have to follow procedure."

Carlton began to retort but sensing the tension in the room, Shawn spoke up first.

"Chief, if I may," He interrupted. "I would like to call in my professional help in this matter."

"Spencer, you're not on this case!" Carlton snapped.

"DAD!" Shawn whined.

"They're on this case!" Henry Spencer called out.

Carlton looked at the Chief in desperation. Karen just shrugged.

"Henry says they're on the case, they're on the case." To Shawn, she instructed: "You and Mr. Guster are only here to evaluate what you know, psychically. That's all."

"I have something else that can be effective besides my psychic awesomeness."

Carlton rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm _dying _to hear this. What are you going to use this time, Spencer? A singing fish?"

"Really, Lassie? You use _Ronnie the Singing Bass? _C'mon, you can do better than that."

Juliet nodded in agreement.

"What is it that's so special, Mr. Spencer?" Karen asked.

"Not _what, _Chief." Shawn replied. _"Who."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Quantico, Virginia<strong>_

Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan just finished the last of his paperwork and was about to leave when he saw a certain Technical Analyst gathering papers and scurrying to her lair.

"You still here, Baby Girl?" He asked. "I figured you should be home drinking Margaritas and watching _Jay Leno _by now."

Penelope Garcia turned around to see her handsome Chocolate God smile at her. "Derek!" She exclaimed. "I didn't know you were still here. I was just keeping tabs with all of the Scum on Facebook."

"That can wait until tomorrow, you know."

"The Internet sleeps for no one, my Sweet Adonis. Especially for the FBI."

Derek smiled. "You got that right. But even our Sexy Tech-Goddess needs to unwind. Let me buy you a drink."

"You sure know how to convince a woman."

The duo started to leave the FBI office when Anderson stopped them.

"Ms. Garcia, there's a call for you." He said.

"Well, can you tell them to call her tomorrow?" Derek asked. "We're about to leave."

"Well, he says it's urgent." Anderson said. "He's claims he's some psychic detective."

Penelope gasped loudly. "I'll take it in my lair!" She called out.

Derek looked at his friend in confusion but he followed her anyway.

* * *

><p>Penelope strutted to her lair and punched the blinking button on her phone.<p>

"Is this the Ever-Perceptive Oracle of Santa Barbra?" She greeted.

_This is he. _The voice on the other end replied. _Am I speaking to the All-Knowing Tech Goddess of Quantico?_

Penelope smiled. "Speak and you will be heard."

_Penny! How's life in the FBI?_

"Very adventurous. How's Santa Barbra?"

_Sunny and full of surprises. You should visit sometime._

"Shawny, I would _love _to visit my favorite cousin but I have a busy schedule."

_I know, I know. You and your Wonder Team track down serial killers. Sounds like an episode of that crime show that Jules likes. You know, the one with Paget Brewster, the dude from __**Dharma & Greg **__and the black dude from that soap opera?_

_Really, Shawn? It's Thomas Gibson and Shemar Moore from **The Young & the Restless!**_

_Why do you even know that?_

"Is that Gus in the background?" Penelope asked.

_Yes. Yes, it is. But seriously, Penelope, I'm not calling you just to catch up. The S.B.P.D. is working on a hacker case._

"Hackers?" Penelope purred. "Now you've piqued my interest."

_I knew I would. Anyway, one of the hackers is 14-years-old and has a close relationship with our Head Detective…._

"Lassie, right?"

_Right._

Derek was hearing this conversation half-intrigued, half-confused. Penelope never mentioned about having a cousin. But then again, she rarely talked about her family.

"So, this hacker, WMG, killed this guy in a government building and now she's after this girl who's also a hacker?"

_Yep. And Chief Vick wants your help._

"Are you sure about that?"

_Well, my dad usually hires consultants so technically he hired you but still come on over. He can't wait to see you again!"_

"Surprised you guys are talking. Am I finally going to meet Jules?"

_Am I finally going to meet Sexy Chocolate Thunder?_

"His name is Derek Morgan and yes. I'll clear it up with my boss and I'll let you know tomorrow."

_ Why tomorrow?_

"I live in Virginia, Shawn." Penelope pointed out. "It's 11:35 P.M. up here."

_Oh, duh! I forgot. I'll talk to you tomorrow then. Stay safe, Penelope Garcia._

"And _you,_ Shawn Spencer, stay out of trouble."

* * *

><p>Derek came over to Penelope after she ended her call.<p>

"So, what was _that _all about?" He asked.

Penelope merely smiled. "That was my cousin, Shawn Spencer. He lives in Santa Barbra, California and works for the S.B.P.D."

"He's pretty crazy for a cop, let alone a detective."

"He's not a "technical" cop per say," Penelope explained. "Shawn is a Psychic Detective."

"_Psychic Detective?" _Derek repeated. "He was actually serious?"

Penelope nodded. "He runs a psychic detective agency called 'Psych' with his friend, Gus. They help out on cases for the Santa Barbra Police Department."

"That's some good stuff. So what's this hacker case he needs your help on?"

"Some big-time hacker killed somebody and now she's after some teenage hacker."

"Why is she after her?"

"I don't know. Hackers are very good with covering their tracks but I never heard of a hacker killing someone unless….." Penelope gasped and proceeded to check her files. "What did Shawn say that hacker's name was?"

"I don't know," Derek shrugged. "You were talking to him. But I think it started with a W or something."

"WMG!" Penelope exclaimed. "_I knew _those words sound familiar. So the Mistress strikes again."

"Mistress? Baby girl, you lost me."

"I've been trying to track this hacker, Web-Mistress Gina, down for the past three years," Penelope explained. "She's been hacking into government websites and leaking propaganda, conspiracy, and all types of lies."

"How long she's been doing this?"

"For the past seven years."

"And _no one's _been able to catch her?"

"No one knows her true identity. All they know is that she's female, lives in the West Coast and her real name might be Gina. But she goes by several aliases; one of them is Agent66."

"Well, this murder in Santa Barbra might be the key to finally bringing this hacker down."

"So Agent Morgan," Penelope smiled. "Think you can handle California?"

"Hey, you know what they say about California Girls," Derek smiled. "They're unforgettable."


	3. Family Ties & Sexy Chocolate Gods

**A/N: Zabe Rogue here! Thank u so much for the Alerts, Reviews and Favorites! Keep them coming! Here is chapter 3. Chapter 4 will be uploaded tomorrow! **

* * *

><p><strong>Family Ties and Sexy Chocolate Gods<strong>

Alina Santiago placed her bags down and looked at her new "temporary" home. It was a little…..stiff for her taste. And the crime scene posters didn't help any but it beats staying in another foster home or protective services. She picked up a picture of a young redhead woman with a graduation gown smiling. Alina wondered how can her father ever had been friends with a tightwad like Carlton Lassiter?

Ally's thoughts were interrupted when the Head Detective emerged from one of the rooms.

"I set up the guest room for you," Carlton said. "It's not much but it's all I got."

Ally just shrugged as she picked up her bags and headed for the guest room, brushing past Carlton. The room was not big but it was cozy. There were some boxes and bags pushed to the side. Other than that, the room looked relatively new.

"What did you use this room for?" Alina asked.

Carlton shrugged. "Like I said, it was a guest room but I was never one for company so I never used it other than for storage. Until now."

The two said nothing for a while. Carlton watched as Alina plopped on her bed. She didn't look it, but he could tell she was nervous.

"It's going to be okay, you know." He comforted. "We're going to catch this hacker before she does anything to you."

Alina just shrugged. "You're doing your job, right? Protect and serve."

"Yeah. I'm bringing in my best men and Spencer's bringing in some expert he knows…."

"Then do your job and you won't have to worry about me ever again."

Carlton felt taken aback by Alina's abrupt comment. "You know, I still care about you right?"

"If you did, you would've taken me out of my mother's house." Alina retorted. "I'm really tired now."

Carlton left his goddaughter alone, feeling more wounded than ever.

* * *

><p>"How come you never mentioned your cousin, Shawn?" Juliet O'Hara asked.<p>

Shawn Spencer smiled at his girlfriend as he was making one of his special milkshakes.

"Penelope is kind of a semi-private person." He explained. "She's very outgoing and social but very private when it comes to talking about her family."

"Ah. So, mom's side or dad's?"

"Dad's. He and Penny's mom were related." Shawn put the finishing touches on the milkshake and served a cup to Juliet. "Alright, taste this milkshake. It's my latest concoction."

"Does it have anchovies in it this time?" Juliet grimaced.

"No." Shawn made a face. "This is Strawberry-Banana with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."

Juliet looked glanced from Shawn's direction to her glass. Shawn saw her look and sighed.

"It's okay, Jules." He assured. "It's edible this time." Deciding to take the risk, Juliet took a minor sip of her boyfriend's new concoction. It _was _edible. In fact it was pretty good.

"Not bad." Juliet commented. "A little heavy on the Reese's though."

"Thought so." Shawn agreed. "I'll adjust the recipe."

As soon as Shawn headed towards the kitchen, his cell phone rang. He looked at his Caller ID and smiled.

"You've reached Charlie Sheen's attorney." Juliet shook her head at Shawn's greeting.

_Getting better, Shawn._

"Hey. Doesn't your flight come in tonight or something?"

_I'm already here in Santa Barbara but I have to make a quick stop first._

"Where?"

Not long afterwards, the doorbell rang. As soon as Shawn answered the door, a colorful blonde fluff suddenly ambushed him.

"SHAWNY!" Penelope Garcia squealed.

"PENNY!" Shawn squealed back.

Juliet watched in awe as she observed her boyfriend jumping up and down with his cousin like a little 5-year-old child. They were squealing and jumping up and down so much they didn't notice the three guys struggling with Penelope's luggage.

"Look at you!" Shawn exclaimed. "You look awesome and you changed your hair color…..again."

"Oh, I wouldn't talk little cuz." Penelope jeered. "Looks like your shirt is three sizes too small. Eating too much pineapple upside down cake?"

Juliet tried to stifle her laughs as Shawn scowled. "I love pineapple. I won't apologize for that."

"Maybe you should."

Pretty soon, Juliet couldn't control her laughter any longer.

"Wow, Shawn." She laughed. "Your cousin is crazier than you are."

"Is this one of Uncle Henry's girlfriends?" Penelope teased.

"Very funny, Penny. This is my girlfriend, Detective Juliet O'Hara of the Santa Barbara Police Department." To Jules, he said: "Jules, this is my cousin, Penelope Garcia."

Penelope gave Juliet a warm bear hug. "_Jules!" _She squealed. "It's so nice to finally meet you! Shawn's told me a lot about you."

"_Is that so?" _Juliet replied. "I wish I could say the same about you."

"What do you mean? Shawn never told you about me?"

"I've never heard about you until two days ago."

Penelope gave Shawn a mock glare. "Shawn, I am so disappointed in you! I thought we were family."

"We are," Shawn objected. "Your name just…failed to get mentioned."

The girls looked at Shawn then at each other. "_Right."_

* * *

><p>"SHAWN!"<p>

Shawn looked and saw his best friend, Burton Guster, who was stumbling on Penelope's bags, looking furious.

"Oh hey, Gus!" Shawn greeted. "How was the ride over here?"

"Shut up, Shawn!" Gus barked. "You told me I was picking up Penelope from the airport, _not Penelope and Friends!" _

"Friends?" Juliet repeated.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you." Shawn said causally. "She works for the government."

"More specifically, the FBI." Gus added.

Juliet looked at Penelope who nodded.

"I'm the Technical Analyst for the Behavioral Analysis Unit for the FBI." She confessed.

* * *

><p>Before Juliet can respond, three more, two men and one woman, people came in the kitchen living room looking tired. The woman was a raven-haired beauty with snow-milk skin and painted red lips. The two men were very different physically. One was dark-skinned, athletically built, and bald with a goatee. The other was tall and lanky with curly dark brown hair and he was dressed like a college professor.<p>

"Baby Girl!" The dark-skinned man complained. "I thought we were going to a hotel?"

"Sorry, Derek!" Penelope apologized. "But I kinda wanted to stay with my uncle and Shawn."

Derek Morgan groaned in exasperation as he slumped on the couch.

"I take it _those _are Penelope's friends?" Shawn whispered to Gus.

"What do _you _think, Shawn?" Gus whispered back.

Shawn merely shrugged and came over to Derek.

"Hi, I'm Shawn Spencer." He introduced. "Psychic Detective and Baby Girl's cousin. You must be Agent Sexy Chocolate Thunder God."

"_Shawn!" _Penelope hissed.

"What, I wasn't supposed to reveal that, was I?"

Derek looked at Penelope who was blushing furiously. Then, he turned back to Shawn and shook his hand.

"Name's SSA Derek Morgan." He said. "These are my colleagues' SSA Emily Prentiss and Dr. Spencer Reid."

"Good to meet you." Shawn said. "These are _my _colleagues, Detective Juliet O'Hara of the S.B.P.D. and Mr. Big Stuff of the Love Shack." Gus nudged Shawn in the arm.

"Thanks for helping the Santa Barbara Police Department with this case." Juliet thanked.

"Don't worry about it," Emily replied. "Penelope's a good friend of ours and part of our team."

"And we help out our teammates," Derek added.

"Shawn! Why are four different pieces of luggage blocking my driveway?"

Henry Spencer was storming to his living room, about to tell his son off then he stopped in his tracks. With Shawn, Juliet and Gus were three people and one he hasn't seen in 17 years.

"Hey, Uncle Henry." Penelope greeted.

"Penny." Henry came over and gave Penelope a hug. "Shawn told me you were coming but I didn't think it would be this soon."

"BAU has their own private jet. Thanks for letting me and my friends crash at your place during our stay."

"I'm sorry, what?" He gave Shawn a hard glare.

"I was going to tell you…_after_ Penelope came over."

Henry continued to stare.

"I'll wash your car for a month?"

"This isn't funny, Shawn."

"Uncle Henry," Penelope offered. "If you agree to take in me and my pals, I will cook dinner when I'm here."

"Everyday?"

"That's the plan."

Henry looked at his additional guests and smiled. "Welcome to Spencer Inn. Girls sleep on the right, boys on the left and _no _eating and drinking from _any _box or carton."

"All right!" Shawn cheered. "Who's in the mood for a Strawberry-Banana Reese's Cup Milkshake?"

* * *

><p>In a local Santa Barbara coffee shop, a middle-aged, dark-skinned woman was sitting down comfortably fiddling with her computer and drinking a Soy Chai Latte. She was engulfed in her work when a certain customer caught her eye. He was a tall, skinny teenager of European decent. His hair was bleached blonde and was cut like Justin Beiber. The woman looked at the boy for a minute then concentrated back to her work. The boy gave his order then sat down where the woman was.<p>

"How goes the battle?" He asked.

"The elephants are triumphant," The woman said. "Democracy will have its destruction. You're late."

"I was caught up with things. What are the agents doing?"

"You don't need to be concerned with the agents' agenda. Did you finish the job?"

The boy smirked. "It's finished."

"Will the police be able to trace the murder back to the agency?"

"Don't worry, Mistress. I made sure the police would be thrown off their tracks."

The Mistress smiled an evil smile. "Good. Because we can't afford _any mistakes _this time. For the good of our cause, Alina Santiago must be terminated."


	4. Mayhem and Conspiracy JamaicaMeCrazy

**Mayhem and Conspiracy Jamaica-Me-Crazy**

Carlton Lassiter arrived at the crime scene looking drained and worn out. He didn't want to leave Alina by herself at the house so he insisted on taking her with him. Despite Alina's protests that she could take care of herself, Carlton wasn't taking any chances, especially when there's a crazed hacker/killer after his goddaughter.

Alina Santiago let out a huge sigh and turned to Carlton.

"Is this _really _necessary?"

"For your safety, yes." Carlton replied.

"I told you, Carlton," Alina argued. "I don't need any protection. I was just going to the mall."

"On a Saturday?"

"There are security guards at the mall!"

"They're too fat and lazy too protect anybody. You're staying here, end of discussion."

"Just handcuff me to the steering wheel, why don't you?"

Carlton gave his goddaughter a steely glare. "Don't tempt me. I'll be back in five minutes. _Do not _touch anything."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Carlton gave Alina another one of his looks before exiting the car. He walked up to Buzz McNabb who was getting statements to witnesses in the crime scene.

"What do we have, McNabb?" He asked.

"Home Invasion," McNabb answered. "Only victim was a Caucasian female in her early thirties."

"What was C.O.D.?"

"I don't know."

Carlton gave the bumbling officer a look. "Did you even _go inside _the crime scene, McNabb?"

"I-I was going to boss but Agent Morgan told me to stay outside and take statements."

"Who the heck is Agent Morgan?"

"He's a profiler for the FBI," McNabb replied. "He's in there now with Detective O'Hara."

Carlton narrowed his ice blue eyes at McNabb then stormed to the crime scene. He despised FBI Agents. They were always taking over things, claiming jurisdiction and twisting Sweet Lady Justice to their own gain. But Profilers are the worst kind. Carlton came in to see his partner talking to a tall, dark-skinned bald man and skinny, tall lanky man who looked like one of his college professors. They were examining the body of the victim: a white woman in her early thirties.

"O'Hara!" Carlton called. "Who are these people at my crime scene?"

Juliet O'Hara immediately rushed to her partner's side as soon as she heard him call his name.

"I'm sorry, Carlton." She apologized. "I tried to call you but you didn't answer your phone."

"This isn't a federal case." Carlton argued.

Juliet started to say something when the one of the agents came up to them.

"Is everything alright, Detective?" He asked.

"Everything's fine, Derek." Juliet replied. "And I told you, call me Juliet."

Derek Morgan smiled and turned to Carlton, whom had a clear look of impatience painted on his face.

"Hi, I'm SSA Derek Morgan of the FBI. My partner over there is Dr. Spencer Reid." He introduced. "You must be Head Detective Carlton Lassiter."

"We didn't call the FBI," Carlton said. "Why are you here?"

"We got a call by your Psychic Detective, Shawn Spencer."

_"Spencer?" _ Carlton turned to Juliet. "How does Spencer know the FBI?"

"His cousin works for them." Juliet explained. "They're at their Psych Office with another one of their agents."

Carlton wanted so much to punch Shawn Spencer in the face right about now but now wasn't the time. And the pesky "psychic" wasn't here for him to do so.

"All right," He conceded. "Who's the victim."

"Alina's Social Worker, Colleen Davenport." Juliet revealed.

All the color drained in Carlton's face as he looked at the woman lying stiff on the couch; shot with the same gun as Martin Weller.

"22. Caliber." Carlton stated. "Was anything taken?"

"Not really," Spencer replied. "There was no sign of forced entry but the kitchen door was latched open so it's possible that our victim was startled by our UnSub."

"Our what?" Carlton asked.

"It means 'unknown suspect,'" Derek replied. "Judging by the brusies, Ms. Davenport was fighting our UnSub."

"But it looks like he subdued her," Juliet observed.

"That can't be right." Carlton said.

"What do you mean?"

"Ally said that the hacker that's after Ally is a woman," Carlton said. "This looks like a man's job."

"_Ay_ _Dios Mio!" _

Everyone looked and saw Alina Santiago standing in the living room, looking at the scene before her. She looked more traumatized than she did before. Carlton immediately took her out of the house.

"Dobson!" Juliet ordered. "Get this crime scene under control! And get CSU in here!" Derek and Spencer looked at the young detective in question.

"Was she Davenport's daughter?" Spencer asked.

"No, Alina Santiago is a juvenile hacker and Colleen Davenport worked on her case," Juliet explained. "She's also Det. Lassiter's goddaughter."

"And the unsub's target." Derek added.

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>SSA Emily Prentiss looked around the Psych office. It didn't look like your average private detective office but somehow these two unlikely crime solvers make it work. When she first met Shawn Spencer, she thought he was all over the place more so than Penelope. And his best friend, Burton Guster…Emily cringed every time she saw his flirting face in her head. But she knew that those two had some potential. They saw clues in Martin Weller's apartment that she didn't catch when went over the crime photos. Emily's thoughts were interrupted when Gus came in, drinking a Raspberry Berrylicious Smoothie. He was carrying another in his hand.<p>

"Uh…I didn't know what flavor you wanted so I got you Jamaica-Me-Crazy Smoothie," Gus offered, handing Emily the smoothie.

Emily took the drink and gave Gus a wary look. "Thanks." When she took a sip, her wary look immediately vanished, revealing a big smile.

"This is delicious!" She exclaimed. "We don't have this flavor in Virginia."

"Yeah, it's a rare flavor." Gus explained. "It's only available in West Coast, lower east coast and Hawaii."

"Not Jamaica?"

"Contrary to popular belief, the Jamaica-Me-Crazy flavor wasn't created in Jamaica."

Emily laughed as she sat down on one of the leather couches. "So you and your friend are psychics?"

"No. _Shawn's _the psychic," Gus replied. "I'm just a phramesutical salesman."

"Who comes in very handy with our cases," Shawn Spencer added.

Emily and Gus see him come in along with his cousin, Penelope Garcia. They were also drinking smoothies and laughing about something they were talking about.

"What took you two so long?" Gus asked.

"Penelope wanted to visit the Pier and we just lost track of time." Shawn said.

"You guys were supposed to search Martin Weller's computer for anything criminating evidence!" Emily argued.

"Relax Em," Penelope said. "It's me you're talking to. I'm the only one who _can _mix business with pleasure."

Penelope took out a laptop from her bag. She then took out some cords, a box full of fluffy pens and two trolls.

"You _still _carry those things?" Gus said.

"You gotta be prepared, Gus." Penelope pointed out. To Shawn, she asked: "Can I use your desk?"

"Fire away."

After Penelope hooked up Weller's laptop to Shawn's, her fingers started to take over. "Now that I have access to Weller's laptop, we'll know why our hacker slut murdered him."

"But she wasn't after Marty Weller," Gus pointed out. "She was after Alina."

"But why?" Emily asked. "The unsub didn't care about this girl until recently."

"The who?" Shawn asked.

"'Unsub' is short for unknown subject, Shawn." Gus clarified.

"That doesn't make sense."

"It's just something they say." Penelope said. She continued to search Martin's laptop when she came across something shocking. "Whoa."

"What is it?" Emily asked, coming over to her.

"Marty had a dark side. And I don't mean the Vader type."

"What type are you talking about?" Gus asked.

"I'm talking about the McCarthy type."

"Sweet Baby J," Shawn lamented. "The guy from _**Pretty in Pink **_is a criminal and potential terrorist."

"Not _Andrew _McCarthy, stupid." Gus corrected. "Senator _John McCarthy. _As in the infamous McCarthy Trials?"

"Oh. I knew that."

"You did not."

"Said the liar."

"Boys!" Emily interrupted. "Can we focus please?" To Penelope, she asked: "Was Weller a communist?"

"No, he was a big-time conspirator." Penelope replied. "He was apart of some group called S.P.A.N.T.E.N.N.A."

"What are they?"

"Who knows?" Penelope shrugged. "I haven't read their blogs yet but I'm pretty sure they're a bunch of whack jobs."

"What makes you say that?" Shawn asked.

"Look at their homepage."

Shawn looked at the homepage and saw there were happy blue elephants with machetes and guns. There were also Agents who bore an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Smith from _**The Matrix. **_And aardvarks? Shawn suddenly remembered something from the interrogation.

_**Two Days Ago….**_

_**"What about Martin Weller?" Juliet asked. "We have surveillance placing you both at the City Hall."**_

_**"Yeah, Marty was there with me." Alina confirmed. "He was helping me with a job but we split once you guys showed up."**_

Shawn remembered something else. Alina's look of dread when she found out Martin was killed. And that message on her laptop…..

"I'm getting something!" Shawn exclaimed, putting his hand to his hand. "Oh….it's tingling so good!"

"What's going on?" Emily asked.

"Shawn's having a vision." Gus said.

They watched as the pseudo-psychic dancing and flaying around the Psych office. He grabbed a black dry marker and started scribbling on the dry board.

"I'm getting a message," Shawn blurted out. "A psychic message from the cybernetic world."

Once he finished scribbling, he stepped back from the board pretending to feel faint.

"Oh, the cybernetic world is a cruel bitch." Shawn panted.

Penelope, Gus and Emily looked at the message on the dry board:

_"You have a lot of nerve crossing the Mistress' Path. You think u can expose us to The Aardvarks? You have another thing coming, Miss Santiago. If you want to live, STAY AWAY FROM SPANTENNA! Or the Mistress will send her Agents after you and the people close to you!"_

"Ally knew she was being targeted." Shawn said. "That's why she didn't say anything about it. She was afraid."

"Or she took it as an empty threat," Emily continued. "Until her friend got murdered."

Everyone's queries were interrupted by Emily's phone ringing. She looked at the Caller ID and answered it right away.

"What do you got, Reid? Yeah. Ok. What did Morgan find? Alright, we're on our way." After she ended her call, Emily turned to Shawn and Gus: "Does the name 'Colleen Davenport' mean anything to you guys?"

"That was the name of Ally's social worker." Shawn replied.

"Yeah, Jules tried to get a hold of her but her boss said she was on vacation." Gus added.

"Why'd you want to know, Emily?" Penelope asked.

"She was found dead in her home, this morning. Morgan told us to get to the station."

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>"They <em>ARE NOT <em>interrogating her!"

"It's not an interrogation, Detective." Derek reasoned. "We're just simply going to ask Ally some questions."

"I don't give a damn how you put it, Denzel," Carlton argued. "This isn't a federal case so you don't have jurisdiction."

"It's not about jurisdiction. We want the same thing you want: to catch whoever's after your goddaughter."

Carlton started to retort when Karen Vick intervened.

"Detective," She said. "The BAU are merely here as consultants. They're experts in High-Profile cases like this and they became highly recommended by Mr. Spencer."

"Like _that's _highly reassuring."

"You _will _cooperate with them, Carlton." The tone in Karen's voice meant that was the end of discussion. Dr. Spencer Reid, who was silent throughout all of this, offered a suggestion.

"Judging from Alina's reaction at the crime scene and her demeanor now, it sounds like that she's completely traumatized by the whole situation but she knows how to comprentalize her feelings," He began.

"What?" Carlton asked.

"Let me talk to her," Spencer continued. "She didn't seem too intimidated by me. Maybe I can reach her and we can find out some things."

Karen looked at the young agent in agreement. "That sounds like a good strategy, Dr. Reid." She looked at Carlton. "Wouldn't you say, Carlton?"

"I guess." Carlton agreed, reluctantly. "But the only way I will agree to this, is if I sit in with you. And I _you don't _talk about what happened."

"Alina's still a minor and she needs a guardian present," Spencer pointed out. "I don't see any reason to disagree with that."

Carlton nodded and headed to the interrogation rooms when he the third most annoying thing in his life, next to Hippies and Squirrels, came waltzing in the room, singing his name.

"LASSIEFACE!"

Carlton groaned. "What do you want, Spencer? I'm about to go to talk to Ally."

"Ooh, ooh. Can we see?"

"No. I already have one meddling kid going with me, I don't need another one."

"Hey!" Spencer objected. "I'm not a kid!"

"Aw, give our Boy Wonder some credit." Penelope defended. "He may be young but he's far from a kid."

Carlton stared at Penelope for a good five minutes. He realized she was more eccentric than Shawn was. Her platinum blonde hair was streaked in green and her clothes matched her hair. Green and Red T-Shirt with a frog on it, Bright White Jean Jacket, Bedazzled Green Skirt, colorful leggings and Green/White Stilettos. Her eyeglass frames were also green; so was her makeup.

"You do know you look like a frog, right?" He said.

That remark didn't phase Penelope Garcia at all. She just smiled.

"You gotta be Carlton Lassiter," She said. "You have more wrinkles and frown lines than Chief Strauss."

Carlton looked at Penelope, then at Shawn. "Spencer, who is she?"

"Lassie, this is my awesome cousin, Penelope Garcia." He introduced. "Penny, this is Lassie."

Penelope smiled a huge smile. "Nice to meet you, Lassie."

"_Do not_ follow your cousin's example and call me that."

"_Any-who…._you don't mind if I accompany you and Spency, do you?"

"Yes! Yes, I do."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea." Spencer objected. "Ally would be more comfortable with a female presence."

"And what's best," Shawn added. "She's not really an FBI agent. She just works for them as an analyst."

Carlton looked at Penelope for a brief moment. After considering the offer, he changed his mind: "All right, you can come too. But don't say anything unless I ask you too."

"Understood, Bossman." Penelope saluted.

Carlton groaned and silently prayed for his sanity. Besides, he worked with Shawn Spencer for 6 years and got broken down by year 2. He hasn't even met Penelope Garcia for five minutes and already he's drained.

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>Karen was observing the website found on Martin Weller's laptop and the message given to Alina. She found them both equally disturbing and intriguing at the same time.<p>

"So, Weller was involved with this group and he was trying to uncover something and this hacker kills him?" She concluded.

"I don't think its simple than that," Emily concluded. "Look at the last entry from Weller's blog."

She pulled up the latest page and showed it to the rest to see:

"_It all started a few months ago._

_A spy was in our mist and gave up our secrets to the organization. I was captured during the summer and taken to one of the camps. I was tortured for information; in fact, I'm very lucky to be alive. They don't just ask questions in the camps – they will do everything in their power to break you._

_But I did not break._

_Our members continued to disappear and finally, the decision to move was made. We have scouts that go out in order to find a place where we won't be found, but since finding our spy, our work has been made difficult. They know where we are most of the times. It's a haunting feeling that you can't imagine. I've always been a bit paranoid, but now it seems I look over my shoulder every minute, every second._

_This place is going to destroy us, the world is collapsing in on itself – moving is the only recourse, but where can we go that will be bring sunshine to the darkness?_

_Can anyone escape the hell they find themselves in?"_

"What organization?" Derek asked.

"They could be talking about this S.P.A.N.T.E.N.N.A. group." Juliet observed. "Maybe Weller was in it and he discovered someone was conspiring against them."

"O'Hara, I want you and Agent Morgan interview Martin Weller's family members," Karen instructed. "See if they notice any behavioral changes in him until the night he was killed. Agent Prentiss, you and I are going to the Morgue to find out Colleen's Davenport's cause of death. Something tells me that her vacation was a ruse."

"What would you like us to do, Chief?" Shawn asked.

Karen thought for a moment. "See if you and Ms. Garcia find out what you can about S.P.A.N.T.E.N.N.A. If this, Mistress, is working behind this organization, then we have a big problem."

"What does that mean?" Gus asked.

"It means that Mistress has hired guns looking for Alina." Shawn concluded.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Uh Oh! Suspense! What is this mysterious group S.P.A.N.T.E.N.N.A.? How was Alina involved and why do they want her dead? And what is the Mistress' connection with Garcia? More Psych Awesomeness, More Criminal Minds Gangsta Swag, and a whole lotta Lassiter/Garcia loving! Please Review! :D**

**Zabe R.**

**P.S. For those of u who missed it...this is a Lassiter/Garcia pairing. I'm just building it up.**


	5. Agent66 Kills & Lassie Moves Like Jagger

**Author's Note: Zabe Here! Sorry it took so long for an update! But I've been brainstorming this for the past week! Plus, school has been hectic! But I will finish this crossover sometime next Saturday and move on to the sequel "_THE SPANTENNA JOB" _Also, for those of u who are waiting for an update on "_The Great Gatsby Algèrnon" _it's coming! And I'm open to any suggestions! Just want to let u know. ENJOY!**

* * *

><p><strong>Agent66 Kills and Lassie Moves Like Jagger!<strong>

_What does this woman want from me? _Ally Santiago thought. Her trembling hands reached for the butterfly locket her father gave her. _She's been chasing me since day one._ Ally knew that there was something she saw or came across that got Agent66 after her all of these years; otherwise her friends and family wouldn't have paid dearly for it. The problem is, she doesn't remember what it is. Ally's thoughts were interrupted when she saw her godfather enter the room followed by two other people.

"How are you feeling, Ally?" Carlton Lassiter asked.

"Okay, I guess." Ally shrugged. "You know who killed Ms. Collette?"

"We're still working on that. You remember Dr. Reid from the FBI?"

The girl nodded as she glanced briefly at the young man.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We were called here to consult S.B.P.D.," Reid rambled. "We're to study the hacker's behavior to figure out why she's targeting you."

"Don't the Bureau other units for that?" Ally asked.

"Technically, we do. Like our unit, the Behavioral Analysis Unit or BAU specializes in profiling serial killers."

_"¡Eso es impresionante! _You think Agent66 is a serial killer?"

"We can't say for certain."

Carlton grew impatient at the young agent. Didn't he know that Alina was stalling him? And that was their genius? Carlton smirked. The FBI must be pretty desperate to recruit college kids.

"Did I miss something?" A voice whispered.

Carlton's skin jumped when he saw Penelope Garcia standing two inches close to him.

"For God Sake's, do you have to be so close?"

"Sorry." Penelope apologized. "I just want to know what was funny."

"Nothing you should know about."

Penelope was about to dismiss the subject when she realized something.

"You shouldn't discredit Reid," She said. "He's smarter than you think."

"Well, if he's such a bonafide genius, how come he can't see that Alina's playing him?"

Penelope just smiled. "He's a profiler, he knows.

"So, what's a doctor doing in the FBI?" Ally asked.

"I'm not a medical doctor," Reid replied. "I have PhD's in Mathematics, Engineering and Chemistry. I also have an IQ of 187 and can read 20,000 words per minute."

Ally's mouth gaped. "Shut the front door!"

"It's already shut."

"It's a saying kids use, G-Man." Penelope corrected.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous." Carlton snapped. "Did you come here to swap campfire stories with my goddaughter or did you come for some answers?"

"Detective Lassiter, I know what I'm doing." Reid assured.

"Well, do it!"

"Carlton?"

Carlton turned to Penelope, giving her a death glare. "What, Pippi Longstocking?"

"_Pippi Longstocking?" _Penelope, Ally & Reid exclaimed simultaneously.

"Carlton, that doesn't make an ounce of sense," Ally said. "Pippi was a redhead girl with freckles and pigtails."

"Who had two poor best friends and a goldigging aunt and uncle," Penelope added.

"That's because she had a rich grandfather." Reid imputed.

"You read the book?"

"Yeah, when I was 8. It wasn't that appealing."

"Whatever, everybody shut up!" Carlton snapped. To Ally, he said: "Alina Jocelyn Santiago, can you stop playing games and cooperate with us? We're _trying _to save your life!"

"Well you're not helping with _that _attitude!" Ally argued.

"And I couldn't agree with you more." Penelope declared. She grabbed Carlton by the hand. "Let's go, Ol 'Blue Eyes!"

"What the hell…" Carlton began, clearly taken off-guard by the Tech Analyst's sudden actions. "Where are you taking me, Spencer?"

"My last name is _Garcia!" _

"What's the difference?" Carlton argued. "You both are here on this Earth for one purpose which is to torment me until I die."

"Aw, Carl." Penelope lamented. "I'm hurt that you would think of me that way. I'm a very sweet person. My G-Man can attest to this."

"It's true." Reid confirmed.

"So to prove it to you, I'm taking you out to lunch!"

Penelope dragged Carlton out of the interrogation room before he could protest even further. Reid and Alina just looked at each other in amusement.

"Is it _always _this chaotic around here?" Reid asked.

"Now that I've been here for over a week, yeah pretty much." Ally replied.

Reid nodded and went back to his previous plan of gaining Alina's trust.

"Is there anyone here that you're close to? Friends? Family or Acquaintances?"

"My dad died a long time ago. I don't know where my mom is and my stepdad is in jail. As for friends, you don't really make any when you're tossed around from foster home to foster home."

Reid nodded, feeling empathy for the girl. "There has to be _somebody _you're close to. Someone you keep in touch with."

"Well, there _is _Parker…"

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>"Does it take <em>this long <em>to get an autopsy report?" Emily Prentiss asked.

"Not really," Karen Vick answered. "But then again, it _is _Woody."

Not long after that, Woody Strobe came waltzing in, wearing a large cowboy hat, a San Francisco 49ners football jersey and swimming flippers on his feet. He was eating a meatball sub when he spotted the two women staring at him. Saying that he was caught by surprise was an understatement.

"Chief Vick," He greeted nervously. "I'm sorry I was at my lunch break. My outfit is a whole different story. Let's just say it involves bowling balls, a soccer field…"

"I _really _don't want to know, Woody." Karen interrupted. She began to introduce Emily to Woody. "This is SSA Emily Prentiss. She's a profiler for the FBI. She's here to help us on this case."

"Oh, hello there." Woody greeted. "I would shake your hand but they're occupied at the moment. Meatball Sub? Got it from Subway."

"No, thanks," Emily said. "I already ate."

Woody merely shrugged and wrapped the sandwich in foil, putting it back in the mini-fridge.

"So you lovely ladies are here for Collette Davenport's autopsy report?"

"I wouldn't be here deliberately ignoring the mini-fridge you're not supposed to have in the morgue, if I didn't have any other reason."

"Duly noted. Well, I've determined the T.O.D around two Friday nights ago. Possibly when American Idol was on."

"So, Collette Davenport was killed on a Friday at 5:00 P.M.?" Emily concluded.

"Actually, 8:00 P.M." Woody corrected. "I was referring when _American Idol _comes on during the East Coast."

"Why would the Mistress go through all this trouble to break into Davenport's home when she already killed her two weeks ago?" Vick asked.

"Well, maybe she _didn't kill _Davenport this time." Emily said.

"Agent Prentiss is actually right." Woody said.

He disappeared to the back, confusing the two women.

"Is he always like this?" Emily asked.

"Everyday." Vick replied. "But he gives us helpful results so I just deal with it."

"Like you do Shawn and Gus?"

"Yeah, it's amazing that the _smartest _people are also the craziest."

"Tell me about it."

Seconds later, Shawn and Gus entered the morgue. Shawn was wearing Ray Ban sunglasses and a black jacket (that belonged to Gus). Gus just followed behind.

"Mr. Spencer, I thought I sent you, Ms. Garcia and Mr. Guster to investigate SPANTENNA?" Karen said. "Why are you here?"

"We came to look for Penelope but Dr. Reid told us that she went with Lassiter somewhere," Gus explained. "Then Shawn had a vision."

"Not just a vision, Mr. Guster." Shawn corrected, his voice sounding strangely deeper. "A comunicado from the other side of The Matrix."

"_**The Matrix?**_" Emily repeated. "As in the movie?"

"Exactly like the movie, Agent Prentiss," Shawn said. "That means I'm Keanu Reeves, you're Carrie-Anne Moss, Gus is Laurence Fishbourne and our killer hacker is Agent Smith."

"None of this is making any sense, Mr. Spencer." Karen said.

Suddenly, Shawn started clutching his on to his heart like he was having a heart attack.

"Oh, I'm receiving a message from Zion!" He chanted. "From beyond the grave!"

"Is it Martin Weller again?" Emily asked.

"No. This is another voice from the past..."

What the Chief didn't know was that Shawn, Gus and Penelope already found something rather revealing.

* * *

><p><em><strong>At Psych Office-Friday Night…<strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>"So, what can you tell us about Web-MistressGina?" Henry Spencer asked his niece as he took another bite of his chicken and rice quesadilla.<strong>_

_** "Well, I've been chasing her for the past seven years." Penelope Garcia explained. "No one knows her real name or location but she's a Class A Crazy."**_

_** "What does that mean?" Gus asked.**_

_** "It means that she's crafty and gives hackers like me a bad name."**_

_** "And now she's after your Head Detective's goddaughter for some reason." Derek Morgan said. **_

_** "We can't figure out what the reason is until you figure out this hacker's agenda or something." Shawn pointed out.**_

_** "They're called 'profiles,' Shawn." Penelope corrected. "And we already know the Mistress' basic profile. She's female, possibly in her mid to late 20's, narcissistic and vindictive."**_

_** "She probably had some interaction or connection with Alina Santiago," Henry imputed. "We have to find out what it is."**_

_** "We don't what the connection is though." Juliet O'Hara said.**_

_** "Has Alina said anything about her life or family?" Derek asked.**_

_**Juliet shook her head. "She claims she doesn't know anything. She barely even talks to Carlton."**_

_** "What happened to her father?" Gus asked.**_

_** "Miguel Santiago? I heard about him." Henry informed. "He was murdered while responding to a burglary call."**_

_** "Did they catch the guy?" Derek asked.**_

_** "Yeah but further evidence showed that the burglar didn't kill Officer Santiago. "He already fled the scene 20 minutes before Santiago was shot."**_

_** "Also, the burglar was carrying an old pistol. Santiago was killed by a .22 Caliber." Juliet added. "The same weapon that killed Martin Weller." **_

_**Shawn looked at the old crime scene photos from the Santiago case. Although, they were nearly a decade old but his father always drilled in his head that you can find something new from old evidence. He noticed a note torn in half. He could only make out one phrase: 'You've Crossed the Mistress, now you pay the Price." FREELANCE R.**_

_** "Oh, I'm getting something!" Shawn declared.**_

_** "You're having a vision, Shawn?" Juliet asked.**_

_** "Yeah, and it's spicy too. Not as spicy as these quesadillas, though. These are just hot with a side of awesome, Penny."**_

_** "You know that's right." Gus agreed.**_

_** "Thanks." Penelope giggled.**_

_** "So, what did you see?" Derek asked.**_

_** "A note…a threatening note from the Mistress."**_

_** "Officer Santiago knew the Mistress?" Juliet revealed.**_

_** "That's new information." Derek added.**_

_** "But it wasn't the Mistress who wrote it," Shawn said. "It was one of her henchmen, FREELANCE R."**_

_** "Wait," Penelope cut in. "Did you say 'FREELANCE R'?"**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Morgue-Present Day<strong>_

* * *

><p>Emily, Gus and Karen looked at Shawn as he was sitting down, cross-legged Indian style, his eyes were closed. It was like he was in a trance.<p>

"What is he doing?" Emily asked.

"I _really _have no idea," Karen replied. "Mr. Guster?"

"You're guest is as good as mine." Gus said. He looked at Shawn. "Shawn, what are you doing?"

"Do not disturb me, Morpheus." Shawn chanted. "I am channeling the world of the Matrix."

"Why?" Emily asked.

Before Shawn can respond, Woody emerged from the back, carrying two case files in one hand and a slice of pepperoni/pineapple pizza in the other.

"Sorry it took so long," He announced. "I was on an international long distance phone call to Stockholm."

"Who do you know in Sweden?" Gus asked.

"That's not important." Woody looked at Shawn. "What's up with him?"

"Apparently, he's 'channeling the Matrix' to contact one of the Mistress' victims." Emily said.

"Oh, I love that movie. Is it by any chance that he's channeling Miguel Santiago?"

"Who?"

"Officer Miguel Santiago," Gus clarified. "He was Alina's father."

"So now we know how Ally is connected to our hacker." Karen explained. "We just need to figure out why." She turned to Shawn, who was still in the same position. "Mr. Spencer, are you going to join us anytime soon?"

"Don't worry, Chief Vick," Woody assured. "I know how to bring Shawn back to reality."

Woody came over to the fake psychic detective and placed the slice of pizza in front of his face. Once Shawn caught the aroma of pepperoni and pineapple awesomeness, he immediately snapped out of his trance.

"Whoa." He said. "That pizza smells good."

"Got it from Mozzimo's," Woody explained. "It's called the Sweet N' Spicy Special."

"I should go there sometime."

"Now that you're back with us in the _real world _Mr. Spencer_," _Karen intervened. "Would you mind sharing with us what you saw?"

Shawn nodded as he got up from the floor. Actually, he jumped up from the floor. After that, he did his signature hand-to-head gesture.

"Chief, my psychic senses have taken me deep within the trenches in the cybernetic world," He explained. "Which led me to a startling revelation of the past."

"This revelation wouldn't have anything to do with Alina's father, would it?" Emily suggested.

"Yes. It would and it is a _very _strong vibe. The Mistress killed Miguel Santiago. The same way she killed Martin Weller and Collette Davenport."

"That's impossible," Karen objected. "The official police statement states that Officer Santiago was killed on duty."

"But it wasn't from the burglary call," Woody revealed. He went over and got a case file he brought over. "This is Santiago's original autopsy report. He was shot point blank in the chest by a .22 Caliber."

"The same gun that killed Weller and Davenport." Emily observed.

"Well, _Martin Weller _was killed with a .22," Woody corrected. "Collette Davenport was asphyxiated with a plastic bag possibly by a 6'2 European guy, then someone shot her with a .22 Caliber."

Everyone looked at the eccentric medical examiner.

"You couldn't have _shared _this vital information with us earlier, Woody?" Karen said.

"I was going to," Woody defended. "But I had that long distance call in Sweden and that leftover pizza…"

"Who do you know in Sweden?" Emily asked.

"Again, not important. What's important is this: the person who killed Miguel Santiago is the same person who killed Collette Davenport and Martin Weller."

"Not only we're dealing with a hacker," Emily concluded. "We're dealing with a serial killer."

"A serial killer with a cult," Gus pointed out. "And who might know Alina."

Karen rubbed her forehead. "Shawn, I want you and Gus to find Penelope & Det. Lassiter. I want your cousin to dig up _everything _there is to know about SPANTENNA." She instructed. To Emily, she said: "Agent Prentiss, can you get in contact with your other partners?"

"I've just got off the phone with Dr. Reid," Emily replied. "He told me that he and Alina are heading to Anaheim to visit an old friend of Alina's. I'm calling Agent Morgan now."

"Good. Tell him to meet you, Mr. Guster and Mr. Spencer to….wherever Detective Lassiter and Ms. Garcia is."

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ami-Yuma's Karaoke Bar<strong>_

* * *

><p>Carlton Lassiter stared at his half-empty glass of Jack Daniels on the rocks, wondering how in the world he got himself in this. Penelope Garcia was the complete opposite of him: flashy, eccentric, quirky, vibrant, colorful and so freaking cheerful it was enough to make him go insane. No wonder she was related to Shawn. She could be his sister! But strangely, there was something about Penelope that made Carlton….he immediately shook that thought. <em>There is no way in any form of Earth that I will be attracted to a Spencer. <em>He willed himself. _I would rather become a monk._

Carlton's thoughts were interrupted when he saw Penelope Garcia come back to their table with a plate of assorted sushi, lo mien noodles and a strawberry shake.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this." She awed. "It's been a long time since I had a good California Roll."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy." Carlton snipped. "Let's not think about the Psycho that's after my goddaughter."

Penelope looked at Carlton. "Protecting Alina is BAU's number one priority."

"Really? Because from what I witnessed in the interrogation, I think Doogie Hauser was just trying to get a date."

"Reid knew what he was doing." Penelope took out an iPad and showed something to Carlton. "This is an address in Anaheim that belongs to a friend of Alina's. That's where they went to."

"I didn't even know about this. How did he…"

Carlton stop mid-sentence when he saw Penelope's smirk.

"You _really _need to start trusting people more." She said.

"I don't let my guard down for nobody."

"Well, maybe that's why you're so stressed."

Carlton gave Penelope a long, hard look before taking a piece of sushi from her plate and eating it.

"I am not that stressed." He said. "I was married before."

"So what happened you left her?" Penelope coaxed.

"No, she left me. After I tried so hard to work it out. I dated this girl named Marlowe."

"What happened to her?"

"Well, it's complicated. Let's just say she ended up being in prison and eventually a lesbian."

Penelope whistled. "Wow. Okay, well enough about you. What about Alina? How did you become her godfather?"

"Ally's father and I were best friends in high school. We both wanted to go to the Academy together but Miguel went a couple of years later because he wanted to start a family."

"Why didn't you go to the State about adopting Ally?"

"Because back then, it was all about next of kin. Miguel knew that his wife was cheating on him but Ally was so young that's why he didn't get a divorce."

"But then he died."

Carlton nodded. "I wanted to do something but Jennifer had everything thought out, my hands were tied."

Penelope placed a reassuring hand on Carlton's shoulder. "You can do something now."

The Head Detective looked at the FBI Technical Analyst and smiled.

"Thanks, Sparkle."

"No problem, Bogie."

"_Bogie?"_

Penelope shrugged. "You remind me of Humphrey Bogart."

Carlton looked at Penelope for a moment then shrugged. He took another swig of his whiskey when he saw the Karaoke MC get on the stage to announce the next song.

"All right! Let's give a hand to the cheerleaders of Santa Barbara High School and their rendition of Britney Spears _**Hit Me Baby One More Time!" **_

The crowd gave their applause.

"Okay, who's up next? Any volunteers?"

Penelope looked at Carlton with a devious look on her face.

"Why don't you give it a shot Detective Lassiter?" She suggested.

"Please," Carlton scoffed. "Karaoke's not my thing."

"Come on. You never know unless you try."

"You can sing, I'll watch."

Penelope shrugged and proceeded to stand up to volunteer when she spotted her cousin, Shawn, coming towards her along with Gus, Emily, Derek and Juliet.

"What are you guys doing here?" Carlton asked, noticing them as well.

"We got a major break in the case," Juliet explained. "We're going to Anaheim to meet up with Ally and Dr. Reid."

"Oh, can it wait?" Penelope said. "There's something I gotta do."

"Penelope, you _don't _have time to sing Karaoke." Derek chided.

"Just one song. Please?"

Derek sighed and looked at Carlton who just shrugged.

"She was going to get up and volunteer." He said. "Who's to stop her?"

Penelope smiled when she saw Derek's look of approval.

"Thanks, Rock God!" She cheered. To Shawn and Gus, she said: "Hey Shawn, Gus, you want in?"

"Of course I want in." Shawn said.

"As long as it ain't no sappy love song, I'm good." Gus added.

Soon, the three friends were on the stage talking to the MC about the particular song they were going to sing. Five seconds later, Penelope trotted back down to where the other four people were and her gaze shifted to Carlton and Emily.

"Um, this is song is a group song and we need two more people." She informed.

"So?" Carlton said.

"So, Carlton…can you and Emily help us sing?"

"Uh-uh, no way." Emily rejected.

"Hell, no!" Carlton objected, probably the same time Emily answered.

"Oh, come on. I know you guys have good voices. Besides, it'll be fun!"

Penelope grabbed the reluctant volunteers by the hands and led them to the stage. Derek and Juliet watched in amusement.

"This ought to be interesting," Juliet mused. "Don't you think?"

"Why'd you think I'm getting this on my iPhone?" Derek laughed.

Soon, Penelope and Shawn started the first verse of the Maroon 5 song: _**Moves Like Jagger.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Penelope:<strong>_

_Oh, yeah_

_Oh!_

_Just shoot for the stars_

_If it feels right_

_And aim for my heart_

_If you feel like_

_And take me away and make it OK_

_I swear I'll behave_

_**Shawn:**_

_You wanted control_

_So we waited_

_I put on a show_

_Now I make it_

_You say I'm a kid_

_My ego is big_

_I don't give a shit_

_**Gus:**_

_And it goes like this_

_Take me by the tongue_

_And I'll know you_

_Kiss me 'til you're drunk_

_And I'll show you_

_**Everybody:**_

_All the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_**Emily:**_

_I don't need to try to control you_

_Look into my eyes and I'll own you_

_**Everybody:**_

_With them moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_**Gus:**_

_Maybe it's hard_

_When you feel like you're broken and scarred_

_Nothing feels right_

_But when you're with me_

_I'll make you believe_

_That I've got the key_

_**Emily:**_

_Oh_

_So get in the car_

_We can ride it_

_Wherever you want_

_Get inside it_

_And you want to steer_

_But I'm shifting gears_

_I'll take it from here (**Shawn: **Oh! Yeah yeah!)_

_**Shawn:**_

_And it goes like this (**Emily: **Uh)_

_Take me by the tongue_

_And I'll know you (**Emily: **Uh)_

_Kiss me 'til you're drunk_

_And I'll show you_

_**Everybody:**_

_All the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_**Penelope:**_

_I don't need to try to control you ( **Gus: **Oh, yeah)_

_Look into my eyes and I'll own you_

_**Everybody:**_

_With them moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger (**Carlton: **Yeah yeah)_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_**Carlton:**_

_You wanna know how to make me smile_

_Take control, own me just for the night_

_And if I share my secret_

_You're gonna have to keep it_

_Nobody else can see this_

_**Penelope:**_

_So watch and learn_

_I won't show you twice_

_Head to toe, oooh baby rub me right_

_But if I share my secret_

_You're gonna have to keep it_

_Nobody else can see this (**Carlton: **Ay! Ay! Ay! Aaay!)_

_**Gus:**_

_And it goes like this_

_**Penelope:**_

_Take me by the tongue (**Shawn: **Take me by the tongue)_

_And I'll know you_

_Kiss me 'til you're drunk_

_And I'll show you (**Shawn: **Yeah yeah yeah!)_

_**Everybody:**_

_All the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_(**Emily: **Oh, yeah)_

_**Carlton:**_

_I don't need to try to control you_

_Look into my eyes and I'll own you_

_**Everybody:**_

_With them moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

_I've got the moves like Jagger_

* * *

><p>When the song was over, everyone in the audience was standing up, cheering. Juliet and Derek were clapping and whistling. Penelope looked over at Carlton and for the first time since she met him, she actually saw him crack a genuine smile.<p>

"Thanks, Penelope." He said. "This was fun."

Penelope smiled. "Told ya."

**Anaheim, CA**

Alina Santiago and Dr. Spencer Reid have been driving for 5 hours from Santa Barbara to Anaheim in search of Alina's mysterious, trusted friend. Spencer had put everything on the line to earn this shrewd teenager's trust. He knew she wasn't stupid, which is why he purposely avoided the case for the time being. He also realized, since he was relatively young, Alina could trust him. Alina tore her gaze from the window to the young doctor's.

"So, where are you from originally?"

"Las Vegas." Reid answered.

"Vegas? _Cool!" _Ally awed. "Ever seen like Cirque Du Solei, concerts or strippers?"

Spencer looked at Alina briefly before concentrating on the road.

"I don't really visit the Strip much," He said. "I usually visit there to check on my mother."

"Is she sick or something?"

"You ask a lot of questions for a 14-year-old."

"I'm curious, so sue me." Alina shrugged. "You know too much for a 25-year-old."

"I'm 30, actually." Reid corrected.

Alina's eyes popped. "Wow, dude. You look hot!"

Reid laughed at that.

"How come you don't have a girlfriend yet?"

"Never really had the time."

"Well, that was a cliché answer." Alina scoffed

"Okay, I never found the right girl," Reid said. "Now let's ask you some questions."

"Alright, shoot."

"What's the deal with you and Detective Lassiter?"

"He's my godfather."

"Everybody knows that." Reid reminded. "What I want to know is: Why do you hate him so much?"

"I don't hate him." Alina said. "I'm just as skeptical as the next orphan. You don't know what it's like growing up with out a father."

"Actually, my dad left me when I was 10."

Alina looked at Reid in surprise, compassion and guilt. She didn't know Spencer's childhood because she just met him a couple of days ago. But she felt like she knew this young doctor all of her life. As for Spencer, the young doctor has been to cases much like this one and they all, if not most had a damsel in distress syndrome and they needed a knight in shining armor. Alina was different. She knew what she wanted and would stop at nothing to get it.

"I-I'm sorry." Ally lamented in a low voice. "I didn't know."

"That's ok." Spencer assured. His gaze then turned to a beach house around the corner. "It looks like we're here."

Alina smiled and immediately got out of the SUV and rushed to the door, Spencer trailing behind. Alina did a cute little knock and waited two minutes before a tall, medium-built Caucasian man with long, messy brown hair answered the door. He looked like he was getting ready to start a fight. The crowbar didn't help much.

"What'd ya want?" He demanded.

"Um, hi." Spencer greeted nervously. "Does Parker live here?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm Alina Santiago," Ally introduced herself. "Parker's my sister."

Suddenly, a tall, blonde woman waltzed up the door, pushing the man out of the way. She looked at Alina and Spencer with a big smile on her face.

"Ally, I missed you!" She greeted. "Who's your friend?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yep! The guys from _Leverage _is joining the party! So Reid, Review and tell me what u think so far!**

**#StopTheMistress!**

**Zabe R.**


	6. The Illustrious Parker!

**Author's Note: I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT UPDATING! But I want you to know that I am TWO CHAPTERS AWAY from the end of THIS STORY! THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL called _THE SPANTENNA JOB. _In case you have forgotten, I composed a little tidbit to recap the last chapter. REID, REVIEW AND ENJOY!**

* * *

><p><strong>The Illustrious Parker!<strong>

**(and Hardison & Elliot)**

* * *

><p><strong>Previously on <em>Detectives Got Brains But Hackers Got Soul….<em>**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Shawn:<strong> Last time, we left our heroes on a fantastical quest in a Neverending Story…._

_**Penelope:** Shawn, what are you doing?_

_**Shawn**: I'm recapping what happened in case our readers missed it. _

_**Gus:** What does "The Neverending Story" have to do with what happened?_

_**Shawn:** It doesn't. I was just trying to make it sound interesting. _

_**Carlton: **For God's Sakes, would **somebody **mention what the heck happened in the last chapter?_

_**Penelope: **Okay, Carlton. Chill out. **[to the readers] **Okay, my crazy, lovely readers, here's what happened last time. Bogie, Junior G-Man and I were interviewing Alina and she was stalling us. But my Junior G-Man could see right through her plan and decided to play along._

_**Emily: **Wait, I know you call Reid "Junior G-Man" but who's "Bogie"?_

_**Penelope: **I call Lassiter that._

_**Shawn(laughs hysterically): **That's a good name for you, Carlytown!_

_**Carlton: **Don't make me punch your face, Spencer._

_**Juliet: **Can we focus please? So what happened next?_

_**Spencer: **Well, Ally told me about this "sister" who lives in Anaheim and she took me to her._

_**Carlton: **Yeah, **after **Garcia kidnapped me!_

_**Penelope: **I** did not **kidnap you. I took you out to a Karaoke bar so Reid can do his work. Besides, you needed the distraction._

_**Emily: **Okay….while all **that** was happening, I went with Chief Vick to check the autopsy of Collette Davenport and found something creepy. _

_**Shawn: **And by "creepy," she means Woody._

_**Woody: **Hey! That's just mean._

_**Emily(shrugs): **Sorry, Woody. But who eats a meatball sub in a morgue?_

_**Gus: **She does have a point._

_**Woody: **Sticks and stones, Gus. Anyway, Shawn was the one who found out that the Mistress, not only killed Martin Weller and Collette Davenport…_

_**Emily: **After she was strangled…_

_**Woody: **Apples and oranges. But the Mistress also killed Ally's father, Miguel Santiago. Somehow, they're connected._

_**Spencer: **Finally, Ally and I went to Anaheim to meet Parker. Little did we know that, we would run into a psychopath._

_**Carlton: **What psychopath? **[to Alina] **You're related to a psychopath?_

_**Alina(sighs): **No, Carlton. He's not talking about Parker, he's talking about one of her friends. _

_**Penelope: **But hey, they're still alive right? **[to the readers] **So now that we're finally caught up, ONWARD WITH THE SHOW!_

_**Carlton: **I'm living in a circus._

_**Shawn: **It's a Circus of Love, Lassie. A Circus of Love._

* * *

><p>Alina Santiago smiled brightly as she threw her arms around the tall, petite blonde woman, known as Parker, who in return gave her a big bear hug.<p>

"Ally, I missed you!" She greeted. Her green eyes shifted towards Ally's lanky companion. "Who's your friend?"

Ally started to respond when the scary guy from earlier stepped in front of Parker, the crowbar still in his hand.

"Precisely, what I would like to know." He growled.

Dr. Spencer Reid stepped in front of Alina to protect her but didn't draw his gun out. He didn't want to start an altercation.

"I can assure you, sir, we're not here to cause any trouble."

"Really?" The man challenged. "That Smith and Wesson you're carrying tells me otherwise."

"Eliot!" Parker scolded. "What did Nate and Sophie tell you about scaring away our guests?"

"It's our summer home, Parker." Eliot argued. "There shouldn't be any guests." He turned to Alina. "How'd you get our address anyway?"

"Parker gave it to me." Alina answered. "We know each other from the Orphanage."

Eliot looked at Parker who nodded in agreement. He then turned to Reid.

"What about you, Tin Man?" He said. "Who do you work for?"

"Um, well…" Reid stammered. "I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. My name is Dr. Spencer…"

Alec Hardison was passing by the living room, eating a Turkey Cheddar Cheese Sandwich when he caught a glimpse of Eliot Spencer hitting someone upside the head with a crowbar. Parker was standing beside him and a young girl about 12 or 13 was standing in front of him. Frantic, Hardison rushed by his violently insane friend's side.

"Whoa! Whoa!" He panicked. "Eliot, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like, Hardison?" Eliot replied. "Saving our asses. Doggie Hauser over here is a Fed."

All the color drained from Hardison's face. "Dude, you knocked out a Federal Agent? What good can _possibly _come from that?"

"He wasn't trying to arrest us, Eliot." Parker reasoned. "He was protecting Ally and we've worked with the Feds before. Besides, he's kinda cute."

"Just because we worked with them, Parker doesn't mean we can trust them. Have you seen those TV shows? It's always the cute ones!"

"Excuse me, Rambo."

Eliot looked down at Alina who was leaning against the doorway.

"Just so you know my godfather is Head Detective of the Santa Barbara Police Department and it's only a matter of time before he and the rest of his crew find out where we are."

"Ya threatening me, little girl?" Eliot said.

"No, of course not. I wouldn't _dream_ of threatening a man with a crowbar. But there is a crazy hacker trying to kill me and she's already killed two people. That's the reason why Dr. Reid was protecting me."

Parker gasped as she brushed past Eliot and Hardison and led Alina inside the house.

"Aw, you poor baby." She soothed. "You have a target on your head. Do you have any idea who might try to kill you?"

"No, but Carlton, Shawn and the other profilers are working on it."

"Profilers?" Hardison repeated.

"Yeah. Dr. Reid's a profiler along with his friends, Agents Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss."

"And they're here in California?" Eliot said.

Alina nodded.

Hardison punched Eliot in the arm and scowled. "Nice going, Spencer." He gritted.

"My bad." Eliot said.

The two men were bickering at each other for a couple of minutes until Parker whistled at them, very loud.

"Don't just stand there!" She scolded. "Get Dr. Reid in here and make sure you put some ice for his head!"

"Yes ma'am." Eliot and Hardison said at the same time.

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>Penelope Garcia, Shawn Spencer and Emily Prentiss were riding in Burton Guster's car they affectionately named "The Blueberry." Carlton Lassiter, Juliet O'Hara and Derek Morgan were riding in a standard FBI SUV. They were on their way to Anaheim where Alina and Reid were, sharing information they've found along the way.<p>

"So the Mistress _did_ kill Alina's father too?" Derek concluded.

"That's impossible." Carlton objected. "Miguel was killed in that burglary."

_He was but not by the burglar. _Prentiss told him. _He fled the scene before Officer Santiago was killed._

"Plus, he was shot point blank in the chest with a .22 Caliber." Juliet added. "The robber was carrying an old pistol."

_Come on, Lassie. _Shawn urged. _You're a tall drink of cold, hard facts. Dude, you should know that a .22 Caliber is WMG's weapon of choice._

_ Same one that killed Weller and Davenport. _Gus added.

"It just doesn't make sense," Carlton said. "How do you know it _was _actually her? She could've used one of her henchmen to kill Miguel just like she did with Collette Davenport."

There was a brief silence for they knew that the Head Detective made a valid point. It couldn't possibly be the same person. Then Penelope Garcia broke the silence.

_I know it's her. _She declared.

Carlton looked at Derek and Juliet in confusion. Juliet shrugged and Derek mirrored the same look Carlton gave before going back to the quirky Technical Analyst.

"What do you mean, Baby Girl?" He asked.

_FREELANCE R wrote the note that was found at Officer Santiago's crime scene, right? _Garcia explained.

"What's your point, Garcia?" Carlton urged.

_"FREELANCE R" isn't a henchman. It's another one of WMG's aliases. She used that one during her stint in Boston back in 2003. It was a dummy corporation that housed freelance writers. She swindled more than 200 million dollars out of her clients within two years._

_And you're sure she's the same hacker, Pen? _Emily asked.

_Positive. It was the closest the FBI ever had to catching Web-Mistress Gina. We almost had a positive ID until she eluded us again._

"She must've had help." Juliet said.

_Can you cross check all of WMG's known aliases with writers in Boston, Penny?_ Shawn asked.

"Why Boston?" Carlton asked.

_Because that's where she'd spent the most time at before moving here to Santa Barbara. If we can find a common denominator, we can find our hacker._

"It's worth a shot." Juliet said.

Carlton shrugged as he took out his cell phone to call Alina. All he got was her voice mail. "Ally's not answering her phone." He told the others.

_Neither is Reid. _Emily revealed.

_Should we be worried? _Gus asked.

"Let's not jump to conclusions until we reach the house," Derek instructed.

"Reid's probably interviewing Alina's friend right now."

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>Nothing was worse to Dr. Spencer Reid than waking up with a splitting headache. Usually, his headaches were due to intense sensitivity to light, not some burly man hitting him upside the head with a crowbar.<p>

"Here, this may help with the pain in your head."

Reid looked up to see Parker, the young blonde woman from earlier, standing over his bed. She held out an ice pack, a concerned look etched on her face. Reid took the ice pack from Parker and placed it on his head.

"Thanks." He said.

Parker smiled and sat on right side of Reid's bed, resting her chin on her knees.

"Sorry about Eliot," She apologized. "He doesn't have a sparkly personality."

"I noticed." Reid grimaced. He looked around the room. "Where's Alina?"

"Oh, she's playing _Grand Theft Auto _with Hardison. Don't worry Dr. Reid, Ally's in good hands."

"How did you know my name?"

Parker took out Reid's FBI credentials from her jacket pocket and tossed them to him. The young doctor gazed at the cunning thief in bewilderment.

"I lifted that off your pants pocket while you were sleeping."

"Do I want to know how?"

Parker just smiled. "Let's just say I have my ways."

"Spencer!"

Reid and Parker looked around to see Alina Santiago rush in the guest room, followed shortly by Alec Hardison. The teenage hacker sprinted to the bed and hugged Reid tightly around his neck.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Reid replied. "Nothing but a little ice pack and some aspirin wouldn't fix."

"Don't worry about Eliot," Hardison assured. "He won't do anything to you."

"You're sure about that?" Reid asked.

"Of course." Parker assured. "He may be rough on the outside but he's a soft cuddly teddy bear on the inside."

"So this is your vacation home?"

"Yeah, originally we're from Boston. So, how do you know Ally?"

"We recently met." Reid explained. "I'm a profiler for the FBI and some hacker serial killer is after Ally for some reason. It's our job to find out."

"And there are more of you?" Hardison asked.

"Two of my colleagues are here, yes. And if they're good at their job like I know they are, they should be coming here real soon."

Hardison cursed to himself as he stormed out of the guest room and into the kitchen where Eliot Spencer was making a chocolate Tiramisu. Alina, Reid and Parker followed shortly after.

"See what you did, Eliot!" Hardison scolded. "His profiling buddies are coming _here to our house!"_

"Look, I said I was sorry." Eliot said, casually. "It's just my basic instinct. Besides, I didn't even hit him that hard, he's still in one piece."

"That remains to be seen until he's bleeding internally and all of it comes rushing to his brain." Parker said.

Everybody just stared at the tall, petite blonde.

"Okay," Reid simply remarked. He turned to Eliot. "Look, I won't press charges against you. But maybe you can help me and my friends with this case."

"I don't help Feds with nothing unless Nate tells me to." Eliot decided.

"Nate's our boss." Parker clarified.

"What do you guys do?" Alina asked.

"None of your business, little girl." Eliot growled.

"Eliot!" Hardison scolded. "Mind your manners."

The middle aged man just shrugged and went back to making his dessert.

"Are you making a tiramisu?" Alina inquired.

"Yeah," Eliot replied. "And you ain't getting none."

Parker just shook her head when a brilliant idea popped in that cluttered wasteland she calls a brain.

"Hey, Ally. Why don't you ask Hardison if he knows your stalker?" She suggested.

"Why would he know?" Reid asked.

"Uh, because…" Hardison stammered. "I'm good with computers."

"How good?" Alina asked.

"I'm just good." Hardison simply said.

"Can you get the latest music without getting caught?"

"Yeah."

"Are you in with the latest computer tech?

"Latest and greatest."

"Have you invented anything?"

"Several things."

"Can you hack into the CIA Database?"

Reid was taken aback by Alina's question. "Ally!" He exclaimed. "I don't think that question's appropriate."

"I've hacked in there 23 times." Hardison replied, confidently.

Reid stared in shock while Alina smiled in triumph.

"I knew you were a hacker." She cheered. "I have good hacker radar. I can sense one a mile away."

In a matter of seconds, Reid was able to put the pieces together on who Alina's mysterious friends were. A thief, a hacker, and a guy who looks like he's hit a lot of people with crowbars.

"Have either of you ever been convicted of crimes?" He asked.

Eliot stormed up to Reid, looking highly pissed. "What the hell are you getting at, Tin Man?"

"Eliot," Parker warned. "Remember this is about Alina and finding the person who's after her." She turned to Reid and smiled. "We've only had like a few misdemeanors in our younger days but no felonies. We're too good for that."

"Parker and I aren't convicted felons." Hardison added. "Can't say the same for Eliot over here."

"I'm _not _a felon," Eliot declared, glaring at Hardison.

Parker still saw the uncertainty in Reid's eyes so she came over to the young genius and took his hands in hers, surprising both Hardison and Eliot. Alina just smiled.

"I know you have your reservations about this; you're an FBI agent and you want to protect Ally." Parker's tone was serious, also surprising Hardison and Eliot. "So do I. She's like a sister to me and I want to get the son of a bitch who's threatening her life. So we will help you."

Reid looked at this young woman in surprising admiration. He had never heard such dedication in a person before. He knew that Parker cared a lot about Alina. He looked at the teenager, who gave him a knowing nod.

"What can I say?" She shrugged. "I trust her with my life."

"Well, if Ally trusts you," Reid decided. "So do I."

Parker grinned widely and clapped her hands in glee. "Super!" She cheered. "Now we have to tell Nate and Sophie."

"No, we don't." Eliot objected.

"You don't expect us to find my sister's would-be killer by ourselves, do you?"

Eliot was about to respond when thee loud bangs on the door, startled him and everyone in the room.

_NATHAN FORD, FBI! OPEN UP! _Derek Morgan's voice boomed from the other side.

_AND THE SBPD! _Carlton Lassiter added. _COME OUT OR I WILL BE FORCED TO BRING OUT THE TEAR GAS!_

_ CARLTON! _Juliet O'Hara scolded.

Eliot took out his crowbar and headed for the door when Alina stepped in his way.

"Wait a minute," She soothed. "It's just my godfather, Carlton."

"Cool." Parker exclaimed. "I can finally meet him."

Eliot looked at Parker like she was crazy before replying back to Alina.

"Your godfather just threatened us with tear gas!" He pointed out.

"He doesn't really mean it; his bark is always worse than his bite."

"Besides, my colleagues are out there too," Reid added. "You want to make an already complicated situation difficult?"

The knocking continue to persist and Eliot knew that Reid made a valid point Sighing and slumping on the couch, he warned: "If either of them tries anything funny, they're going to taste steel."

Reid nodded as he made his way toward the door.

"Morgan, stand down!" He called.

Emily Prentiss immediately recognized Reid's voice, lowered her weapon and stepped in front of the door.

"Reid!" She called back. "Is everything okay in there?"

"I'm fine and so is Alina. I'm going to have Alina's sister open the door so lower your weapons okay?"

"No problem." Derek turned to Carlton and Juliet. "You heard the man."

When Reid saw from the window that Derek and the others had put down their weapons, he signaled Parker to open the door. Parker skipped forward and opened the door, greeting the new guests with a huge smile.

"Welcome to Casa de Ford!" She squealed.

Derek, Emily and Juliet looked at the tall blonde woman in a startling weird way. Carlton just stared at her like she was high on something.

"Are you on Valium?" He asked.

"No, but we're working on it." Hardison replied.

Parker just shrugged as she stepped aside to let her guests in. Derek and Emily immediately came over to their younger partner, who was leaning against a desk.

"Are you alright, Reid?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Emily noticed a blackish-purple bruise on his forehead. "What happened to your head?" She asked.

"Oh, Eliot knocked him out with a crowbar." Parker answered.

Derek looked at the girl in shock before turning to Reid. "Who's Eliot?" He asked, extremely pissed.

"Morgan, relax." Reid soothed. "It's not that big of a deal."

"The man _assaulted you, _Reid. That's a federal crime."

"Bring it on, big man." Eliot challenged. "I ain't afraid to whoop your ass."

"Not afraid to whoop yours, either." Derek said, coming over to the less muscular built man.

"Guys, this isn't the time nor the place." Juliet reprimanded.

"I agree." Reid said.

"Wait a minute," Carlton intervened. "Let them handle it, see where it goes."

Emily looked at the Head Detective. "You're kidding, right?"

Carlton just shrugged. "They say that fighting's healthy."

"I couldn't agree more." Hardison conquered as he plopped on the sofa, bowl of popcorn in hand.

"Hold up!" Reid halted. "A girl's life is at stake and you want to see two men fight in the living room?"

Everyone looked at each other for a minute before responding: "Yeah, pretty much."

Reid groaned in frustration and headed outside.

"Where're you going?" Alina asked.

"Getting _my own_ backup."

"Wanna follow him?" Parker whispered.

Alina's eyebrows sprinted up in amusement as they followed the genius doctor out the door. The rest of the people found good seats in the living room to see Derek Morgan and Eliot Spencer fight. Hardison was sitting between Emily and Juliet on the couch and Carlton was relaxing in the lounge chair.

"Well, it looks like we have an audience." Derek mused.

"Let's give 'em a show." Eliot said.

Then the two men began tackling each other to the ground, wrestler style. It was like watching WWF or UFC right in your own living room! Eliot grabbed his crowbar and started swinging at Derek. The FBI agent dodged every swing until he was clipped on the shoulder.

"The chair, Morgan!" Juliet screamed. "Hit him with the chair!"

Carlton and Emily looked at her in shock. Juliet just shrugged.

"What? I grew up with four brothers." She reasoned.

Derek punched Eliot in the face, sending him flying face-first to a vase. Then, he was about to take a folded chair and knock his nemesis out cold when he heard:

"DEREK MORGAN, YOU PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

Everyone turned around and saw a furious Penelope Garcia standing in the center of the living room, her hands on her hips. Next to her was Reid, with a huge smirk on his face, and Parker who was suppressing her giggles. Alina stood in the middle of the hallway with Burton Guster and Shawn Spencer. Derek looked at Penelope in horror and embarrassment.

"Baby Girl, it's not what it looks like." He defended.

"You _weren't _just going to hit that poor man with a chair?"

Derek immediately put the chair down and glared at Reid. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah." Reid smiled.

Garcia glared at everyone else. "And the rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You're in law enforcement, for God's Sakes."

"I know right." Shawn agreed, coming over to the living room. "At least put on some kick-ass music for them to fight with."

"Shawn!" Penelope reprimanded.

"I'm just saying, Pen. Did John Cena ever pulverize wrestlers with the sound of silence?"

"Your friend does make a valid point." Hardison said.

"He's my cousin." Penelope pointed out.

_I knew I recognized those voices. _Eliot thought as he got up from his position. Derek rose his defenses, ready for another fight. But Eliot had something else in mind.

"Penelope? Shawn?"

Garcia and Shawn looked at the gruff man, confused about why he knows their names. Then Shawn's sharp memory paid off.

"Oh my God." He exclaimed. "_Eliot?" _

"In the flesh. Come over here!"

He grabbed Shawn in a bone-crushing hug. Garcia, on the other hand, recognized it was her cousin but she couldn't believe it. Eliot came over to hug Garcia when Derek stopped him.

"Whoa, hold on a minute." He said. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Look, dude. You're not about to stop me from hugging my cousin."

"_Cousin?" _Reid and Prentiss said at the same time.

"Oh dear God." Carlton lamented. "There's _three of them." _

Derek looked at Garcia. "He's your cousin?"

"Yeah, but I haven't seen him in nearly 20 years." Garcia came over to Eliot with a suspicious look in her eyes. "If you're _really _my cousin Eliot, what did you give me for my 16th birthday?"

"Your car, Esther." Eliot replied, confidently.

Garcia's face suddenly lit up. "OMG, it _is you!" _She squealed, giving him a big hug. "Where have you been all this time?"

Eliot shrugged. "Here, there, everywhere. But mostly been staying in Boston." He turned to Shawn and punched him in the arm. "What about _you, _little bro? Haven't seen you in six years. That psychic detective business must be working for ya."

"_Little bro?" _Juliet repeated, shocked by this information. "You two are _brothers, _Shawn?"

"Yeah, he's my older brother." Shawn confessed.

Suddenly, Carlton felt his stomach turning inside out. Shawn Spencer had _two more _crazy, smart relatives and _one _of them was his brother. He felt his world spinning out of control.

"You wouldn't happen to have any Jack Daniels around, would you?" He asked nauseously.

"In the upper cabinet next to the fridge." Parker informed. "Why?"

"I might need a double."

He staggered to the kitchen and poured himself two glasses of whiskey. Eliot just looked at him funny.

"What's his problem?" He asked.

"I think his worst nightmare just came to life." Shawn remarked.

Alina, Reid, Parker and Hardison started laughing uncontrollably until they were interrupted by a blood-curdling scream. Everyone turned around and saw _two more _people, a middle-aged Caucasian man and a middle-aged East Indian woman standing at the end of the hallway. The man looked surprised (not as surprising as his hair) and the woman's face portrayed a look of sheer horror. Eliot, Parker and Hardison had a look of nervousness and guilt. The rest of the party didn't know what to do.

"What in the bloody hell _happened _in here!" Sophie Devereaux exclaimed.

"Uh, uh…well, Sophie; you see what happened was…" Hardison began.

Nathan Ford held his hand up to halt further talking. "Whose guests are these?"

Everyone looked at Parker, who smiled sheepishly. "Nate, there is a _perfectly good _explanation for this."

"I'm sure it is."

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere in Santa Barbara….<strong>

* * *

><p>"What do you <em>mean <em>we've been compromised?"

Aveo took a _long, deep _breath before answering the Mistress.

"The SBPD _knows _that Zewy killed Collette Davenport," She informed. "Now, they have the FBI helping them."

"That never stopped us before."

"It's the BAU. And they've brought Penelope Garcia with them"

The Mistress suddenly felt nervous. Garcia was the only FBI Analyst close enough to capture her. It was the Big Leagues now; they play _serious _hardball. "Time for Plan B." She decided.

Aveo smirked as she made an urgent call to Boston.

* * *

><p><strong>NEXT TIME: WMG STRIKES BACK WITH A VENGEANCE! WILL OUR HEROES RECOVER? STAY TUNED!<strong>


	7. Battlefield Love in a Hopeless Place!

**_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Anyway, for all you DGB fans out there this is the 2nd to last chapter! I'm working on the sequel right now called THE SPANTENNA JOB. It'll be a Criminal Minds/Leverage/Psych Crossover. Be Prepared ! Enjoy this _****_chapter !_**

* * *

><p><strong>We Found Battlefield Love in a Hopeless Place<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>S.B.P.D. – Santa Barbra, CA.<strong>

* * *

><p>"I can't help you, Michael, if you don't cooperate."<p>

"_My name is Zewy, you bitch!" _ The boy screamed, his thick, Swedish accent showing. "Get your facts straight."

Karen Vick sighed as she stepped out of the interrogation room, standing next to Henry Spencer.

"Boy still won't crack?" He asked.

Karen shook her head, "He confessed to killing Collette Davenport and it was all his doing. No one coerced him."

"I don't believe that for one second. How about you?"

"Nope. I just need Lassiter to break him. God only knows where he might be."

"Well, it looks like your prayers are about to be answered."

Karen glanced towards Henry's direction to see her two lead Detectives, Carlton Lassiter and Juliet O'Hara, enter the interrogation room along with two of the BAU agents, Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan.

"Detective Lassiter, Agent Prentiss, Detective O'Hara ,Agent Morgan," Karen greeted, coming over to them. "It's about time you joined us."

"Sorry for the delay, Chief," Juliet explained. "We met up with Alina and Dr. Reid in Anaheim. Turns out she has friends.

"What type of friends?" Henry asked.

"The type of friends who commit felonies and should be in jail but they're not," Carlton said. "I can't believe Alina hangs out with them."

"She's not hanging out with them, Lassiter," Emily pointed out. "Parker and her friends are the very few people that she trusts at this point so we can't be so quick as to cut that line of trust."

"She already trusts Penelope, Spencer and Guster. She even trusts that human computer you call an FBI agent. What more do you need?"

"You want to catch this woman, right?" Derek said. "We have to gain not only Alina's trust but the trust of those who will help her. In order for us to do that, we can't be so quick to judge Parker and her friends. No matter how might we think of them."

Carlton rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine. Just for the record, those people are psychopaths, especially your son Henry."

"Carlton, for the last time, Shawn is a grown man. I can't control what pranks he pulls at your house."

"I'm talking about your _other son. _The one who looks like he took two years worth of steroids."

Henry face suddenly went white with shock. Karen saw Henry's look and put two and two together.

"Is he talking about Eliot, Henry?" She asked.

Henry just nodded. "Where is he?"

"He went with Shawn and Gus to the Psych Office," Juliet said. "Penelope, Reid and Alina went with them."

"And some of Ally's friends," Carlton added.

_"Some?" _Karen repeated.

"Alina's sister, Parker, and her friends Alec Hardison and Eliot Spencer went to the Psych Office," Prentiss said. "We have their 'employers,' Nathan Ford and Sophie Devereaux in Interrogation Room 2."

Karen nodded before giving out instructions: "You and Detective O'Hara can interview them while Lassiter and Morgan interview Collette Davenport's killer."

"You apprehended him?" Derek asked.

Karen nodded as she pointed to Zewy, sitting calmly in the room with smug look on his face.

"Why the hell does he look so calm?" Carlton asked. "He killed a woman!"

"He claims that he was doing it all by himself, but we all know that forensic and other evidence say otherwise."

"You think he's working for the Mistress?"

"If he is, he's not talking."

"Oh, don't worry Chief," Carlton assured. "I'll make Euro-Justin Bieber talk."

Carlton took the file from Karen and went into the interrogation room, his game face on. Derek held back a chuckle as he took another file consisting of crime scene photos and proceeded to enter the room when Juliet stopped him.

"Make sure Lassiter doesn't hurt the boy _too much," _She instructed.

"I'll try, Juliet," Derek smiled as he entered the room.

To Henry, Karen said, "Come on, Henry. We're going to the Psych Office."

"You're kidding," Henry exclaimed in disbelief. "I'm not going there."

"I need some background information of what's happening here so I need to talk to Alina. And you need to face your son."

Henry sighed in resignation.

* * *

><p><strong>Psych Office<strong>

* * *

><p>"Garcia's Awesomely Appetizer Platter is ready! Get it while it's hot!"<p>

Penelope Garcia emerged from the kitchen, carrying a platter of assorted appetizers: chicken enchiladas, assorted sushi, spring rolls, Southwest Egg rolls, Chicken Buffalos Wings, etc. As soon as the plate was set on the table, Alec Hardison, Burton Guster, Eliot & Shawn Spencer and Dr. Spencer Reid pounced forward like hungry lions on a slaughtered gazelle. Parker and Alina Santiago looked at the scene as if they were watching a documentary on _The Discovery Channel. _

"Hey! Hold on a minute!" Penelope shouted. "Where are your manners?"

The boys all stopped and looked at the quirky Technical Analyst.

"Did we forget to say grace or something?" Shawn asked.

"Don't worry, Penny," Eliot said. "I'll say it for all of us." He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Jesus wept. Amen."

"Amen," Gus sang.

"_Now, _we can eat," Reid commenced.

The men started to dig in again when Penelope let out a loud, screeching whistle.

"Dang, woman!" Hardison exclaimed.

"What is it now, Garcia?" Reid complained. "I haven't eaten since yesterday."

"Surprised you're still breathing, Tin Man." Eliot teased. Reid just glared at him.

"Did _either of you _wash your hands?" Penelope asked.

"Does hand sanitizer count?" Gus asked.

"No, it doesn't."

"Actually, statistics show that hand sanitizer is more effective for hand cleansing than soap and water," Reid informed. "Soap carries more bacteria that causes flu, malaria, and other types of viruses."

Everyone looked at Reid in his or her own weird way. Eliot stared at him the hardest.

"Does he _always _talk like that?" He asked his cousin.

"Unfortunately, yes." Penelope said.

"I like that," Parker said. "He sounds sophisticated."

"I know," Shawn agreed. "He's like a human Google. You learn something new everyday."

"Please, I could've told you that," Gus scoffed.

"Not like Dr. Reid, Gus." Shawn said.

"Okay! Okay!" Penelope said, wanting this pointless conversation to end. "You can use hand sanitizer, you're happy?"

"Yes, Ma'am." The boys all smiled.

Penelope watched as the men bathed themselves with Purell Hand Sanitizer and fight over an enchilada. She turned to Alina, who was trying to contain her laughter.

"Do you have any guy friends, Alina?" She asked.

"I've moved around so much, I don't really have friends."

"Well, when you find somewhere you can stay and you _do _have guy friends," Penelope said. "Be prepared for that."

"And the occasional pranks," Parker added.

Penelope and Alina laughed at the comment.

_"SHAWN! PENELOPE!" _

That gruff-sounding voice made Eliot Spencer freeze in fear. Hardison looked at his friend in confusion.

"You feeling alright, Eliot?"

Eliot didn't answer but simply ran to the bathroom.

"You never saw me, you never even heard of me," He told everybody.

"What's with him?" Alina asked.

"I don't know," Parker answered. "It's like he's seen a ghost."

As if on cue, Henry Spencer stormed in, followed closely by Chief Karen Vick.

"No, it's just our dad," Shawn said. "You're looking mighty spry today, Pops."

"Cut the crap, Shawn," Henry said. "Where's your brother?"

"I have a _brother?" _Shawn gasped dramatically. "Father, how could you?"

Henry rolled his eyes, knowing he wasn't getting anywhere with Shawn so he turned to Penelope. "If you don't tell me where your cousin is," He warned in a low voice. "I will let your boss become aware about a certain incident back in Carmel."

Suddenly, _Penelope's _eyes were wide with fear.

"He's in the bathroom," She revealed.

"Penelope!" Shawn whined.

"I'm sorry, Shawn but do you know how much hacking and espionage I had to do to keep the FBI from knowing about that incident?"

"What did you do?" Reid asked.

"You don't want to know."

Henry sighed as he walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Eliot, come out!" He said.

"Who's Eliot?" Eliot replied in a fake Italian accent. "I do not know of this Eliot of which you speak."

"Cut the crap and come out of the bathroom."

Sighing in resignation, Eliot walked out of the bathroom and faced the man he hasn't seen in 23 years.

"Hey, Pop." He greeted.

Henry looked at his older son, "Lassiter was right," He said.

"Henry!" Karen scolded.

"What?! He does look like he took steroids for two years."

Eliot sighed as he walked over to Karen.

"How're holding up, Chief V?" He asked.

"Pretty well, Eliot. How about yourself?"

"I'm okay. Got myself a decent job where we help people from crooks."

"Is it legitimate?" Henry asked.

"We're not committing any crimes if that's your question."

"Speaking of which, where're our bosses?" Hardison asked.

"We still have them at the Station for questioning," Karen answered.

"Why? They had nothing to do with this," Parker said.

"Was this your idea, Dad?" Eliot asked.

Henry shook his head, "Nope, I retired from the Force a long time ago, remember?"

"What?" Shawn and Gus sputtered, laughing. "That's a boldface lie!"

"Your father is a part-time hiring consultant for the S.B.P.D., Eliot." Karen assured. "And it wasn't his idea to bring your employers in. But it wouldn't hurt to check their alibis."

"So, besides the slightly awkward family reunion, why are you two really here?" Hardison asked.

"To talk to Alina," Henry asked. "We have some more questions for her."

"I've already told you guys what I know," Alina said. "I don't think I could be of more help."

"Does the name Michael Bjorken sound familiar to you at all?" Karen asked.

"No, not really."

"What about Zewy?"

Alina's eyes went fearful as the name fell from Vick's lips. "Zewy?" She trembled. "What does _he _have to do with this?"

"How do you know him, Ally?" Reid asked.

"We were in the same foster home a long time ago," Ally turned to Karen. "Did Zewy kill Marty and Ms. Davenport?"

"No, he just confessed to killing Collette Davenport," Karen replied.

"And not only did he confess, he claimed that he was doing the job all by himself." Henry said.

"You don't believe him, do you Uncle Henry?" Penelope asked.

"No but Lassiter and Agent Morgan are cracking him as we speak."

"I got $20 says Lassiter kills it!" Shawn declared.

"We are not going to place bets on interrogations," Gus said. "Besides, Morgan will do ten times better than Lassie."

"Shawn, Gus!" Karen silenced them. She then turned to Alina. "I was hoping if neither Carlton or Derek could get through to Zewy, maybe you would take a shot."

"Wouldn't that be, like, suicide?" Parker asked.

"Alina says she and Zewy know each other, that's common ground there. That is if you're up for it."

Alina bore a look of terrifiying indecision. She wanted to get to the bottom of this mess so she could find out whoever was after her. At the same time, however, she didn't want Zewy to go into every, single disturbing detail of the murder. It was like a two-edge sword.

"You guys are here to find the person who's after me," She concluded. "If this is one of the ways, then I'll do it."

"I'll go with you so you'll be safe," Reid decided.

"Thanks, Spencer."

"Mind if I tag along too?" Parker asked.

"Me too, I like to see how Nate and Sophie are doing," Hardison added.

Karen nodded. "You two can come with us." She turned to Henry. "You're going to stay here?"

"I like to catch up with my boys and my niece," Henry smiled. "Reminesce on the old times."

Eliot had a smugly grim look on his face while Shawn rolled his eyes. Penelope looked scared beyond all reason. Gus was trying to ease his way out of this family moment.

"Uh, since I'm not really apart of this family…" He began.

"Stay, Gus." Henry said. "You're just as much of my son as these two idiots are."

Gus stared down at Shawn and Eliot. Hard. The pusedo-psychic merely shrugged.

"Well, you do eat at our house a lot," He said.

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>S.B.P.D. Interrogation Room 2: Sophie Devereaux and Nathan Ford<strong>

* * *

><p>"Remind me again <em>why <em>we're being questioned?" Nathan Ford asked the two women staring down at him and his partner, Sophie Devereaux

"You're not getting arrested, Mr. Ford," Emily Prentiss reassured. "At least not yet."

"What are you talking about?" Sophie said. "We had nothing to do with those murders _or _threatening Parker's friend, we're on vacation."

"We already confirmed your alibis for both murders," Juliet O'Hara agreed. "But are you sure Parker hasn't mentioned a foster sister at all?"

"We try our best not to pry into each other's personal lives when we're doing our jobs," Nathan said.

"And what job might that be?"

"It's complicated. Just call us the modern-day Robin Hoods."

"You steal from the rich and give to the poor?" Emily confirmed.

Nathan leaned back and smiled, "Exactly."

Juliet and Emily looked at each other for a while. Then they turned back to this unlikely duo.

"Fortunately for you, we're here to discuss Alina Santiago and not your vigilante actions," Emily said.

"We told you we were on vacation," Sophie stated. "Why would we want to hurt that girl?"

Juliet shrugged. "You tell us."

Sophie began to retaliate when Nate stopped her. "Don't say anything else, Soph." He said. "They know we're innocent so they're stalling." He looked at the two women. "What do you _really _want from us?"

* * *

><p><strong>CM*Psych*CM*Psych*CM*Psych<strong>

* * *

><p>Alina found herself practically running to the interrogation rooms, not noticing the four tired adults trying to catch up with them.<p>

"Alina, slow down!" Karen called out to her.

The young girl stopped in her tracks to let Chief Vick, Reid, Parker and Hardison to catch up with her.

"Sorry, Chief." She said, bashfully.

"We'll get to Zewy soon," Karen assured. "He's not going anywhere." She soon looked up to see Juliet and Emily leave the interrogation room with Nathan and Sophie. Parker's blue eyes lit up as she saw her two bosses coming toward them.

"Nate! Sophie!" Parker squealed, running over to hug them. "You're okay!"

"Yeah, no thanks to you." Sophie remarked.

"You should've told us you were having company over," Nathan added.

"Don't blame Parker, she didn't even know I was coming." Alina defended.

Nate looked at the young girl. "How do you know Parker?"

"We were in the same foster home for a while," Parker explained. "I kinda took her under my wing."

"Scary, ain't it?" Hardison imputed.

"O'Hara, Prentiss, why are these two relased from custody?" Karen asked.

"I was on to your little game, Chief Vick," Nate said. "I've been playing it for years."

"We're dealing with a hacker who's killed three people. It's more likely she'll kill again until she reaches her target."

"We just want you to tell us what you know about _'FREELANCE R'." _Juliet said.

"We've never heard of that company, assuming it is one." Sophie replied.

"What about 'SPANTENNA'?" Karen tried.

Nate and Sophie looked at each other. "_That name _sounds familiar," Nate said. "It's a some type of writing troupe in Southern Boston."

Karen was about to ask Nate to elaborate when a slam of a door startled her back to reality. Everyone turned around to see Carlton Lassiter stomping his way towards his desk in a rage all to original. Derek Morgan followed shortly after, trying to calm the lead detective down but to no avail.

"That no-good smug little prick!" Carlton shouted, throwing paper all over the place.

"We'll get him, Lassiter," Morgan reassured him. "It's not the end of the world."

"By the time we convict him, WMG would've made her move and I rather be dead before I let _anything _happen to Ally!"

"What's going on?" Karen asked, coming over to the gentlemen. Juliet, Reid and Emily followed her closely. "Carlton, what happened?"

"Zewy's lawyer came in before we could crack him, Chief." Derek explained.

"Did he ever lawyer up?" Juliet asked.

"No, his boss hired one," Carlton sneered. He kicked his desk. "No good son of a…"

"Calm down, Detective," Karen soothed. "We have an Ace in our deck. That boy isn't getting away scotch-free." Carlton looked at his boss in confusion. "I'm sending Alina in there to talk to Zewy."

"_Out of the question, Chief!" _Carlton exclaimed. "I'm not letting my goddaughter _anywhere _near that lunatic."

"She'll be protected, Carlton." Juliet reasoned.

"I don't care, O'Hara!"

* * *

><p>Obviously hearing this conversation, Alina stormed up to Carlton. Parker and Hardison followed not closely after. Nate and Sophie continue to stay behind to listen to the drama.<p>

"I agreed to this, Carlton." She said. "I want to know what he has to say."

"What if this is a trap, Ally?" Carlton argued. "This is all too easy. It may be one of WMG's plans."

"I have you, Juliet, Spencer and Prentiss and Morgan to look after me. Besides, we're at a police station; it's not like I'm going to get kidnapped."

"Your life is in danger, Alina. I don't understand why you're being so flippant about it!"

"Well, I don't understand why you care so much!"

"Because I promised your father I'll take care of you!"

A hushed silence filled the room. Alina bore a look of shock and guilt. Everyone else kept looking from Carlton's direction to Alina's. The lead detective just sighed and slumped in his chair.

"Miguel and I were friends growing up," He explained. "He held off going to the Police Academy to raise you. He wanted you to have a better life than he did."

"Why didn't you fight for me after he died?" Alina asked, angrily.

"I tried. But your mother knew all the tricks and she put the red tape around me. There was nothing I could do, Alina."

"You could've fought harder! You could've taken me out those foster homes a long time ago."

Carlton came over to the teenager, who was close to crying and put his arms around her. "I know I screwed up," He said softly. "I could've done better but I'm here now. Doesn't that count for something?"

Alina wasn't sure what to think. She was never close to Carlton Lassiter but in light of what's been happening these past three days, Alina felt scared and alone. Like it or not, the high-strung head detective was the closest thing she had to family and he tried his best to protect her throughout all of this. The young girl looked at Reid who gave her a short but knowing nod.

"I suppose I can give you one more chance," Alina decided.

Carlton smiled, "That's all I ask."

"I hate to break up this sweet little Kodak moment but I'm on a tight schedule," Zewy's attorney, Rory Aguilar, strutted up to them with a smug grin on her face. "So if you would give my client his release papers, we'll be on our way."

"Not so fast, Ms. Aguilar," Carlton said. "Your client confessed to killing Colette Davenport. That's 2nd Degree murder alone."

"He was coerced, any jury will believe that. The most you have him on is Manslaughter 1. Now if there's nothing else…"

"I have someone who wants to talk with him," Karen intervened. "Alina Santiago."

The lawyer's smile faded. "The District Attorney didn't authorize this."

"No, I did. It turns out Miss Santiago and your client were best buddies in foster care."

"I won't allow it," Rory admonished. "I won't let some unsupervised, childish conversation take place."

Carlton stepped up. "Well, you're in luck Ms. Aguilar because I was about to volunteer."

"You can't be serious."

"I'm always serious."

Rory began to retort when Zewy stopped her.

"It's alright, Rory." He whispered. "Let me talk to her."

"Are you sure?"

Zewy nodded. "I would like to talk to both of them."

"Well, Detective. It looks like your little troublemaking princess will get what she want," Rory smiled evilly. "Be careful what you wish for."

Everyone looked at the defense attorney eerily as she walked out of the police station. There was feistiness to Rory that emitted an iciness that could chill even the hottest of places. But that didn't phase Parker _one bit. _

* * *

><p>"Whoa, who crawled up <em>her<em> butt and died?" She said.

Reid tried hard, and failed miserably to hold back his snickers. Morgan, Lassiter and Nate looked at the younger man questionably. "It was funny," Reid said, sheepishly. Prentiss just shook her head.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Ally?" Carlton asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Alina replied with no hesitation.

Carlton nodded as he looked at his boss. "You heard the lady."

"O'Hara, check on your boyfriend and his family back in the Psych Office," Karen instructed. "Agent Morgan, I want you to listen in with me on this conversation and check for some discrepancies. Prentiss, you and Reid continue interviewing Nathan Ford and his friends."

As Karen left, Reid had another thing in mind. "Actually, Emily is it okay if I interview Parker?" He asked. Emily looked from her colleague's direction to Parker's who was smiling big.

"If you want to," She shrugged. "You have to find another room to interrogate her though."

"I have another approach." Reid smiled as he walked over to Parker. "Do you like Chinese food?"

"Not really, I can eat a medium pepperoni pizza though." Parker replied.

"Cool."

Before anybody knew it, Parker and Reid left for their date!

Alina crossed her arms and smiled. "Awesome," She cheered.

"Yeah, yeah. That's nice, your crazy sister likes the geek," Carlton muttered. He took his goddaughter by the hand. "Let's get this over with."

Emily shook her head back to reality as she led Nate and Sophie back to Interrogation Room 2. Hardison slumped on Carlton's chair, bored. He didn't know what to do so he just played with a rubber band ball to pass some time. Just then, Hardison saw in the corner of his eye Lassiter's computer going static.

"What the heck…?" Hardison muttered to himself.

He started to press a few keys to override the system when he stumbled on some embedded codes. Hardison looked around to see who was watching. No one looked suspicious to him…except for three matenience people working on the lights. _The lights are fine. _Being the quick-thinking hacker he is, Hardison took out his flash drive and proceeded to download all of the codes that were running on Lassiter's computer. He knew he couldn't crack this code by himself even if he tried. He needed help. Eliot's cousin, Penelope was also a hacker. But there was no way to reach her. Just as soon as the download was complete, Hardison saw Juliet walking out the door. He remembered she was going to the Psych Office. Penelope was at the Psych Office! Grabbing the flash drive, he rushes to catch up to the Junior Detective.

"Detective O'Hara, hold up a minute!"

Juliet turned around at Hardison's call.

"You should be in the office, Hardison," She said. "Prentiss has to interview you."

"There's something going on in your precinct," Hardison said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Someone is hacking your computers at the police station."

Suddenly, Juliet looked worried. "Oh my God, we should tell Lassiter." She tried to go back into the station but Hardison stopped her.

"Look, you can't go back there," He said. "I'm pretty sure the criminals are there now. This might be an inside job."

"So what do we do?"

Silence echoed between the two adults as they figure out their next move. Juliet soon broke it.

"What about your employers?" She suggested.

Hardison thought for a minute. "I suppose I could send a message to them. But we need to get to your boyfriend, my best friend and their cousin. They would know what to do."

"Okay, get in." Juliet motioned Hardison to get in her Ford Focus.

The Mistress smirked as she watch the Ford Focus drive off.

"Aveo, commence Plan B."

* * *

><p><em><strong>FINAL CHAPTER COMING SOON! <strong>_


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